1. Humidity and high temperatures are a horrible combo
This is one fight you simply can’t win. No amount of setting spray is going to keep your perfectly beaten face in place.
2. You never find the products you want in Malta
You’ve wasted more time than you care to admit watching video tutorials, but have had to learn how to use five different drugstore brands to compensate for the lack of choice in Malta. You basically live in hope that your friends keep you in mind whenever they go abroad.
3. Sites that do deliver have shipping that’s more expensive than the product itself
Honestly, there should be an algorithm that prevents that kind of pricing. I’d rather live my life thinking they don’t deliver than know there’s an overpriced option out there.
4. If you’re a guy, everyone thinks you’re ‘so sweet’ for buying your mother makeup
Yup – cause boys can’t wear makeup, and women can’t vote.
5. Everywhere is way too crowded
You probably spent more time painting your face than Michaelangelo did on the Sistine Chapel’s ceiling – and then five minutes in the club and some guy’s elbow wipes away half your work. Farewell left eyebrow, my old friend…
6. Everyone has suddenly learnt the word ‘contouring’
And they will insist on rubbing your face to check if your cheekbones are really yours (even though they see them slowly being sweated off).
7. You constantly hear “M’għandekx bżonn makeup ta! Daqs kemm għamlek ħelu/ħelwa il-Bambin”
Thank you Jesus for these blessings… I’ll be sure to keep that in mind next time I’m spending €30 on a brush.