‘My Greatest Fear Is Becoming Angry Again’: Maltese Domestic Violence Perpetrator
Disclaimer: This article is not written to sympathise with the aggressor – this response was chosen as it gives a unique perspective to the complex and fatal issue of domestic violence plaguing Malta. Other articles with different personal accounts will follow.
Lovin Malta recently released a survey to learn more about domestic abuse on the island from the people who experience it and to our surprise, there was one response that did not come from a victim.
“I am the one who performed domestic violence on my partner. Twice in the 15 years that we have been together. I am regretful and my greatest fear is not the electricity bill but becoming so angry again that rather than opting for silence or reasoning out or even shouting, I hit again,” a male between the ages of 34 and 41 wrote.
The survey was issued last week and garnered 77 responses so far. Several of them detail harrowing cases of abuse perpetrated by spouses, partners, parents, and siblings as well as the subsequent experiences with authorities.
From physical violence to parental alienation, several recounted traumatising experiences endured in Malta.
However, one respondent provided a different account, explaining that his anger issues have put his partner in danger. He added that more awareness of anger management at young ages can help reduce the inexcusable cases of abuse in Malta.
“Essentially, I am easily angered with lots of shouting involved (which is a form of non-physical abuse). Then these times [physical violence] happen. Believe me, it’s nothing to be proud of. When I’m lucid, which is the absolute majority of the time, I am worried I am going to touch my partner again.”
“We have reached an agreement that if I do that again, the partner will (rightfully) break the relationship.”
When asked if the abuser was ever reported, the respondent said: “I was not reported. Rest assured it is not flattering.”
The final question of the survey asked for recommendations to the government to combat domestic violence, gender-based violence and femicide.
“Yes, speaking for myself, greater awareness on anger management starting from the early school years where we are taught how to release anger and how to react to situations when one becomes angry”
This article is part of a series based on a Lovin Malta survey intended to raise awareness on domestic abuse in Malta
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