The 9 People You Meet At 'Isle Of MTV'

Tens of thousands of people all falling neatly into nine categories

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Malta's biggest music event is finally here. Isle of MTV has seen some iconic headliners over the past 10 years, but despite a constant shift in musical talent, we always see the same nine groups of people attending the event. Here's our rundown of who you're likely to bump into at this year's event:

1. The Coachella crowd

Coachella Gif

Sure, many in our generation would love a similar festival to take place a bit closer than California, but make sure your feathered headdress doesn't cause you to trip on one of the fosos

2. The underage crowd

Kids Dancing

No 'Isle of MTV' is complete without spending at least 15 minutes glaring at a large group of children, wondering "where is your mother?"

3. The pensjonanti (and their fold-out stools)

Old Couple Dancing

Keep an eye out for the adorable old couple who'll be wandering around the back of the crowds, enjoying the "enerġija taż-żgħażagħ".

4. The groupies

Hysteria Gif

If you're looking for a die-hard fan, just follow the sound hysterical screaming at any mention of their fave. Other tell-tale signs include knowing every lyric, but singing out of tune, and angry stares at anyone brave enough to talk to them during 'their song'.

5. The VIP crowd


Unless you want a condescending head nod and an "I wish you could have the same amazing view I do" shrug, avoid eye-contact with those in the VIP areas at all costs.

6. The "never again" family

Kid Covers Eyes Gif

It may have seemed like a fun family outing on paper, but stressed out parents shielding their children from the sights and sounds of a beer-fuelled concert are a common sight at every 'Isle of MTV'.

7. The cool crowd who "aren't even sure why they're there"

Hipster Gif

Spoiler alert: it's cause you're not as cool as your tote bag says you are, and it turns out you actually like pop music.

8. The trapped-in-Valletta-so-might-as-well-join crowd

Crowded Gif

Did you enter Valletta this morning and forget that today was the big day? Well you may as well get comfortable, because this is your home for the next 8 hours.

9. The Floriana residents on their balconies

Beyonce Balcony Gif

If you look up at the surrounding homes you'll see crowds of people in their balconies watching the show (with the added bonus of only needing to get dressed from the waist up). For the residents of Floriana, Isle of MTV is like a festa+, piss on your doorstep included.

BONUS: Ġejna għax b'xejn

Free Stuff Gif

Nothing draws a Maltese crowd quite like a free entrance (even if you don't care about the bands and hate being in large crowds, you can't say no to something that's free!)

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Written By

Chucky Bartolo

If there's no Mariah Carey GIF or reference to Eurovision in this article, just assume they've been edited out against my will.