Genuine glee, pity, happiness with a pang of resentment, and even full on envy. That’s how most people feel at one point or another about newly weds in Malta. For the nuptial newbies themselves, it can can be a rollercoaster ride of emotional adjustment. Err, no we don’t mean the marriage itself, we mean dealing with the staple comments from everyone around them.
Here’s some of the things Maltese newlyweds are stuck hearing all the time:
1. The Write-Off Comments
“But you won’t want to join at Perpendicular ay? I mean, you prefer to go for dinner or something naħseb…”
Hmm – I pledged my loyalty and allegiance to my loved one, not my sofa. Please consider me fully able to attend the same parties I used to.
2. The Inappropriate Prying
“Kif mortu fuq il-honeymoon?”
Complete with creepy eyebrow-raise. No I will not be telling you how much sex I had on my honeymoon, thank you.
3. The Guilt Trip
“Aha, I heard your wedding was really fun uhx…”
The collective lack of tact will bite in the back any couple who didn’t invite absolutely every acquaintance they ever had on the Islands. Our advice – just elope.
4. The Unsettling Questions
“But like, does it feel, different?”
Should it? Different to what? Is my marriage a sham? Every couple has a unique marital experience. Chances are, they’re still trying to navigate through the mind-fuck of being someone’s wife or husband after being single for so many years. Leave them alone.
5. The Blatant Invasion Of Privacy
“Issa aħjar tibda taħseb eh!”
Yes, all brides are fully aware that their wombs are rotting away with each minute that passes. You don’t need to remind them. Also – maybe they don’t want children?! Have you ever conceived of such a heinous reality? Quiet please.
6. The Rampant Misconceptions
“Imma it’s different for you guys, you’re married, there’s more of a bond.”
This could or could not be true. The reality is, married people (yes, even newly weds) still have relationship problems. Try not to belittle them by assuming automatic bliss.
7. The Stereotyping
Nope. That’s not my name.