‘As Intersex People, Our Silence Was Deafening. I Couldn’t Keep My Identity A Secret Any Longer’
When Dimakatso Sebidi (they/them) turned 21, their parents sat them down with some life-changing news.
“They informed me that I am intersex, and explained the reasons for my hospitalisation from birth and the scars on my body. They told me that I am different, that I am unique. From that day, I felt a profound shift in my life, and I was driven to make a difference,” they told Lovin Malta in a new interview.
“Many questions about my body and my life were answered.”
Dimakatso, along with Sharon-Rose Lehlohonolo Khumalo (she/her), are coming to Malta for the local premiere of the award-winning documentary ‘Who I Am Not’ which follows the lived experience of two intersex people in South Africa, to be shown during EuroPride 2023.
“It was incredibly important for me to share my journey as an intersex person through the film,'” Dimakatso continued.
“I realised that our silence as intersex people had been deafening. I couldn’t keep my identity a secret any longer. The film provided the platform I had always prayed for, not just to educate South Africa, but to inform the entire world. Intersex people exist. I’m not here to change anything, but simply because I exist, many things will change.”
Though the pair share an identity, the differences in their stories show the diversity found within the intersex community, which is typically found in less than two percent of the global population.
Whereas Dimakatso describes themselves as “a lion, born intersex, an activist, strong, unshakable, unstoppable, and a God-fearing individual also known as Garfield”, Sharon-Rose describes herself as “intersex woman whose a daughter, a sister, and a friend amongst others. I am a former model and pageant queen and turned corporate babe.”
Dimakatso Sebidi and Sharon-Rose Lehlohonolo Khumalo
For Sharon-Rose, having the film reveal the struggles, challenges and joys of being intersex was “a cathartic experience”.
“It was important to tell my story through the movie because there was a lot of secrecy and shame that surrounded me when I found out that I am intersex and this really made me feel lonely and I don’t want anyone else to go through that,” she said.
And coming from a religious family posed its own unique dynamic.
“I come from a very religious family with strong Christian beliefs and very private people,” she said. “So I think it really challenged their tradition and beliefs that I am so open about something that they may deem as private. That being said they are supportive and most importantly accepting of me as an individual and give me the space to authentically express myself.”
But for the community, the film has proven to be able to reveal the lived experience of intersex people in ways they couldn’t express before.
“Some of the moments in the film that stay with me is when Dimakatso tells their father that they wish they could’ve been given the chance to choose what to do with their body,” Sharon-Rose recounts.
“Another, which still chokes me up after watching the film so many times is when I finally come to the realisation what makes a woman and what makes me a woman.”
The reaction in their native South Africa has been “humbling”, with organisations like the Intersex Society of South Africa (ISSA) giving “overwhelming and comforting” feedback.
And now, they are headed to Malta to join tens of thousands of others from around the world for EuroPride 2023.
“Having done some intersex advocacy work before I know Malta is one of the first countries to ratify laws that are inclusive of intersex people and children and I am so excited to come to Malta and be a small part in experiencing even more history in the making,” Sharon-Rose said.
“I am definitely attending Malta Pride,” Dimakatso said. “I’ve heard so much about it and seen numerous posts on social media. As a proud intersex individual and a member of the LGBTQI community, I am excited to join the pride celebrations.”
“My mother used to say to me ‘when people celebrate being the same I must also celebrate being different’. Malta Pride has always succeeded giving us a way in celebrating our true selves.”
And for Dimakatso, they can’t help but think if others’ family members may react the same way as their father did after seeing the film.
“After watching the film, he realised how vital it is for people to understand that God can bless you with a female, male, or intersex child, and there’s nothing wrong with a child being intersex,” they ended.
Tickets for Who I Am Not are limited. To express interest in a screening ticket and to find out more about the film and impact campaign, email [email protected]
Will you be attending the Malta Premiere of Who I Am Not? Tag someone who absolutely needs to see this
READ NEXT: Fgura Man At Risk Of Dying After Gold Shop Robbery In Żurrieq
