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Thirty Before 30 UPDATE: Multiple Dinners At Serkin And A House In Msida Later, I’ve Got One Year And 20 Items Left Off My Bucketlist

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This article is the sixth in a series that you can read all about here.

Meet David. He’s a marketing superhero by day, who enjoys baking, hiking, and all things cultural. By night, he has a penchant for making tequila-fuelled poor life choices. Forever alone, David lives with his two feline terrorists, Astro & Cosmo – a true crazy cat lady in the making.

Today, September 28th 2019, marks my 29th birthday (try not to let the numbers fuck with your head as much as they did with mine) – and also marks ONE YEAR to finish off the rest of my bucket list.

As I steam roll my way forwards, I wanted to take the time to reflect on the last four months and the achievements I’ve accomplished, because even though I’ve been absolutely GARBAGE at updating my blog (life has a funny way of throwing you curve balls, like your beloved cat dying in a horrific accident and putting you in therapy… and giving you a mild drinking problem to boot) I actually have accomplished quite a bit.

So far, I’ve accomplished 10 out of 30 things on the list – and here’s what I’ve learnt in the process.

1. Visit every country in Europe at least once.

HAHAHA. Might as well admit this isn’t going to happen now. Do you know how much a new kitchen costs?!

2. Paint my bedroom walls without getting any paint on my two cats, Cosmo & Astro.

Speak to me in January, once I get the keys to my apartment, and I’ve had my sanity tested.

3. Climb to the top of the plateau near Għajn Tuffieħa.

There’s always next year right? Right?!

 

4. Defy all odds against my generation and manage to buy property as – gasp – a single person.

FINALLY I can cross one off (and it’s a big mother fucker off, so that should give me bonus points).

 

5. Lose 20 kilos. And keep it off (this time).

Note to self: the goal is to LOSE 20, not gain it.

6. Manage to go on more than three consecutive dates with someone.

LOL.

Thank u, next.

Read all about my manban and why I’m gonna die alone here.

 

7. Date a guy who’s emotionally available

Again, LOL. I can’t even seem to find a guy who’s emotionally unavailable. 

 

8. Travel somewhere where I don’t speak the language, all alone.

 

9. Manage to survive two months without tequila.

Granted, this is more because I can no longer afford the luxury of getting drunk off anything other than cooking wine.

 

10. Cook lunch for the family.

I’ll be able to do this in my shiny new kitchen eventually. EVENTUALLY.

(FYI the cheapest kitchen I’ve found is gonna cost me around 5K. If anyone knows any life hacks here…HELP).

 

11. Assemble IKEA furniture

I cannot stress enough what an amazing, amazing place Ikea is for first time buyers.

I also cannot stress enough how stressful assembling Ikea furniture is. Idiot-proof instructions my ass.

 

12. Finally get around to watching Simpatiċi

Clearly a winter activity.

 

13. Manage to keep a blog alive for more than two months

Four months and counting!

 

14. Manage to keep a plant alive for more than two months.

 

15. Make more of an effort to support local talent.

Ok this was accidental – but did you catch the amazing performances at The Orpheum Cabaret and Malta Pride this year?

Definitely going to be doing more of this.

 

16. Take one (ideally both) of my parents on a holiday.

LOL.

I was clearly very optimistic when I made this list.

17. Clear my credit card debt

18. Learn how to scuba dive.

19. Make it through one political discussion with my parents without getting into a fight.

Let’s be honest. It’s Malta. The travel around Europe thing is more realistic. 

20. Watch a drag show.

OK one of them was Chucky’s show. OK my intention was to go see Bianca Del Rio on tour. OK I know I have to settle (disclaimer: if you haven’t been to one of Chucky’s shows yet… what’s wrong with you?)

21. Run 10 kilometres without feeling the need to have Mater Dei on stand-by.

If it counts, I signed up for a 10K? Close enough?

 

22. Eat somewhere fancier than Serkin.

23. Try every recipe in nanna’s recipe book.

24. Overcome my body image issues and visit a nude beach.

The trick, my friends, is to go during the middle of the week…when it’s just you and two men old enough to be your grandfather on the beach. 

^ That’s an accurate representation of what you can expect on any given visit to Ġnejna.

 

25. Stop being a bum and get my own health insurance policy, instead of mooching off dad.

This will happen eventually, thanks to one of my main clients who’s name I cannot mention for fear of being shutdown by Lovin Malta for free product placement. But they definitely, certainly, absolutely do not sound like Hasan Famo. (I better get a good discount for this).

26. Sort out my own taxes for a change, rather than running to dad.

27. Survive the wilderness of L-Aħrax Tal-Mellieħa for a week.

Look I TRIED ok.

But bugs.

No.

28. Do some sort of voluntary work.

29. Visit the GU clinic.

So here’s the thing. The GU clinic are at capacity. They’re OVER capacity. It takes three months to get an appointment. I’m not even exaggerating here.

Please, please, please – if you’re sexually active, whether you’re gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual, attracted to inanimate objects, whatever – go get tested.

Also, prepare to have shade thrown your way from the bored nurses for only sleeping with two people in six months (I’M SORRY IT’S NOT MY FAULT I CAN’T LAND A MAN TO SAVE MY LIFE).

30. Go back to school.

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a corner, singing along to Cher’s “If I could turn back time” and thinking about how I should have gotten a head start on this list…whilst I was on the RIGHT side of 25.

Tag someone who needs to get a move on with their bucketlist!

READ NEXT: Thirty Before 30: Tinder Tales and Grindr Fails From A Very Confused Maltese Man

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