Watch: ‘I Want To Own This Part Of Me’: Brillanti Semi-Finalist Opens Up About Panic Attacks
A clip has surfaced ahead of tonight’s Brillanti semi-final featuring a contestant suffering from a panic attack on the talent show.
Clara Sciberras, who works with Lovin Malta, has opened up about her experience in the hope that she can help someone who goes through the same issue in silence.
“It is not fun waking up to a clip of yourself having a panic attack,” she said.
“This is one of the parts of myself I like to keep most guarded. I knew this was coming. I have had this deep sense of dread since this was filmed. But seeing yourself in such a vulnerable state and knowing that everyone can watch and replay it is another thing.”
“I thought that I could keep this part of me sheltered, but that’s reality TV, and that is what I signed up for. So, I want to own this moment.”
Sciberras said she has been suffering from anxiety for as long as she can remember.
“It never interfered with my grades or performances until I got to sixth form and the panic attacks started getting much worse,” she said.
“I had almost stopped performing altogether. I used to get random and very intense panic attacks, and this was when anxiety wasn’t talked about as much. It got to a point where I wouldn’t even want to go out of the house out of fear that I’d get a random panic attack, and everyone would look at me like I was crazy.”
“Whenever I had an exam or went to an audition, I used to (and still do, occasionally) get these large red hives all over my body… sometimes I would get stopped during auditions, and the panel would ask if I’m ok, which would make me spiral even more.”
“Eventually, I learned how to overcome it through the very thing I love the most, that is performing. I still suffer from anxiety, but I’ve learned how to manage it.”
She said that her breakdown in that Brillanti semi-final started when there was a technical fault from the production side.
“I was already in my head and when I was thrown a curve ball, I naturally panicked. However, I tried to control it as I had to go on stage again. I tried keeping it all in… in fact, in the clip I say that I sang while having a panic attack. As soon as I got off stage, it all came flooding out.”
“Although it’s not fun to see myself in this state, it is a part of me that I am learning to own. I hope that through this, I can perhaps help someone who goes through the same thing in silence. I know for a fact that it would have helped me when I was at my worst to know that someone was going through the same thing.”
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