Dear Parents,

I am writing in response to the concerns that have been brought to my attention regarding your child potentially joining my class. While I understand that you identify as a “conservative family” and are making decisions based on your personal beliefs, I feel it is my responsibility to at least try and make you aware of the broader implications of these actions — especially in terms of your children’s well-being and the impact on the wider school community.

You mentioned that you “respect everyone,” and while I appreciate these words, know that this does not make your message and actions any less discriminatory.

The belief that children should be kept away from LGBTQ+ individuals is deeply harmful — not only to the segment of society being excluded but also to the children who are being forced to internalise such stigmatising views.

Framing this as ‘protecting the children’ does not make it any less damaging either. Teaching children to fear, exclude or dismiss a group of people is not protection — it is an attempt to blind them to the diversity and complexity of the world around them, keeping them in the dark and limiting their ability to develop the empathy and respect they need to thrive.

I hope you see how this directly contradicts the values of respect and empathy that, I trust, your family holds very dear.

It is my duty as a teacher to provide a safe, inclusive and supportive environment for all students, regardless of their identities or backgrounds.

My beliefs and personal life — one I have the legal right to live openly in this country — should never interfere with this responsibility.

On the contrary, they deepen my commitment to fostering understanding and respect for diversity in all its forms.

As a gay person living in a world that automatically assumes everyone is straight, I know firsthand the pain of questioning your worth and your right to exist because of stigmatising beliefs.

My mission is to ensure that no child under my care experiences the alienation I felt throughout my own childhood — that every child feels they belong and have a valued place in this world.

Bear in mind that, according to the LGBT+ Pride 26-country survey, 17% of Generation Z identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community, which includes identities such as lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, asexual, transgender, non-binary, gender non-conforming, and gender-fluid (Ipsos, 2024).

No one can guarantee that their children will not fall within this percentage. The damage caused by parents refusing to accept this reality can have very serious, even life-threatening, consequences.

Suicide rates among LGBTQ+ individuals are hard to ignore. In a 2024 survey of over 18,000 LGBTQ+ youth aged 13 to 24 in the United States, 39% reported seriously considering suicide within the past year, and 12% attempted suicide.

Similarly, 19% of LGBTQ+ young people in the United Kingdom attempted suicide in the past year. These alarming rates are unfortunately driven by the persistent ignorance, discrimination, and harmful practices that keep marginalising LGBTQ+ individuals to this day.

I also want to acknowledge that, as a family who has come to Malta, you rightfully expect to be respected and accepted within the school community.

This expectation is entirely valid, as schools are meant to be inclusive spaces for everyone, regardless of their origins.

But just as you seek understanding and support, don’t you think it is equally important to extend that same respect to others? What makes your differences more deserving of accommodation than mine?

You clearly feel entitled to uphold conservative views, but it is very problematic to expect schools to cater solely to your beliefs at the expense of others.

Forget about me for a while and think about children with gay parents or children who have LGBTQ+ members in their families.

Don’t they also have a right for their families to be represented and feel valued in the school community? How can you expect the majority to accept the exclusion of others simply to accommodate your specific ideology? Where is the respect in that expectation?

I cannot deny that your comments triggered a sense of shame in me — a sense of shame that I grew up with and battled for years, but that I am now well-trained to handle and overcome. Writing this letter is part of that process.

In no way do I expect you to apologise or show any signs of compassion. Instead, I truly hope that you become more aware of the harm you are perpetuating and putting out into the world.

I like to believe that this harm is not intentional, but it is high time that you recognise its effects.

I also have to ask: Since when has merely seeing a rainbow been harmful to children? What exactly is it that you are so afraid of?

Here’s what I believe: The presence of LGBTQ+ educators like me — and the colourful rainbow tote bag that seems to have caught your attention — might threaten you because it forces you to confront the reality that your attempts to ignore or erase the part of humanity in which I exist are failing.

But allow me to say this, and I say it in the nicest possible way: we are not going anywhere, and you will find us everywhere. I, for one, have fought hard to secure my place in this profession and I will continue to advocate for school environments that foster empathy, understanding, and respect for all.

So, as you make the necessary arrangements to move your children to another school, given that you ‘don’t like the idea of children mixing with people who are not straight,’ I urge you to reflect on how your actions — disguised as ‘protection’ and rooted in ‘religious beliefs’ — may limit your children’s ability to thrive in a diverse society.

True protection lies in preparing them for the real world in all its complexity, teaching them to embrace and appreciate the full spectrum of humanity.

All children and educators deserve an education system that empowers them to grow and succeed in a safe, inclusive, and welcoming environment.

I am fortunate enough to be part of such a community at San Ġwann Primary, supported by an open-minded leadership team and many dedicated educators committed to fostering this safe space. I wish you and your children all the best for the future.