6 Unnecessarily Annoying People Maltese Vegetarians Face Every BBQ

Meat feast may as well be the new name for BBQs here in Malta. Bar the baked potatoes and endless dips, everything served up is a vegetarian nightmare.

But passing up a BBQ invite is social suicide in this country, so vegans and vegetarians have learnt to adapt by bringing their own supplies with them… and growing an insanely thick skin to protect from the following six people you meet every single time.

1. The Ellen Degeneres aka ‘G?alik ta!’

Constantly giving advice and demanding to know why you even did it, they feel it’s their place to help you realise you’ve made a terrible mistake.

2. The Martyr aka ‘X’hassle fik man’

Usually getting angry because they feel they need to do more for you, the host refuses to let it go, even after you said you’re ok and don’t need a replacement for the sausage you passed on.

You’ve probably brought your own food too, so you’re not entirely sure why you’re such a ‘hassle’.

3. The Walking Eyeroll aka ‘Kemm int kiesa?/kies?a’

Yup, I’m cutting down on so many delicious choices because I want to show off, not because I want to save the planet/not kill animals/improve my health.

4. The Homeopathy Doctor aka ‘It’s unhealthy, ta!’

Really, please link me to all the legitimate websites that told you it’s bad for me to not eat meat.

If one more person says “but humans evolved because they were omnivorous” I’m gonna lose it. Sure, we did back then, but I have eyes – I can see that you’re not exactly at peak hunter/gatherer physique.

5. The Philosopher aka “But the animal is already dead!”

Yes, we can very much see that the burger you are eating is an already-dead cow. But by eating it you’re making way for the next one to be killed too. The logic is flawed, and trying to call out someone who is trying to do good (even if you don’t agree with them) on a philosophical technicality is a dick move.

6. The Patriot aka “U le! Ta’ Malta jittrattawhom tajjeb”

Ah! Always a pleasure to enjoy an evening with an individual well trained in the science of free-range farming, who has visited all the local farms, tested the living conditions of the animals and helped ensure a humane end to their lives.

Oh, you’ve never done any of that and just assumed we’re fair to animals cos we don’t farm on an industrial level here?

Well then, who needs to be informed before having an opinion? That’s for amateurs and veggie lovers.

Tag a vegetarian friend

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