د . إAEDSRر . س

When We Rob A Person Of Their Intimate Privacy, We Are No Better Than Rapists

Article Featured Image

You can’t really blame society for not yet knowing how to deal with videos like the one currently circulating around Malta, but you can let the episode teach us all a lesson. 

For the uninitiated, the video shows a young Maltese woman giving a blowjob to a guy in a car. Details are still scant but the latest is that this couple’s intimate video was leaked after one of their phones was taken for repairs. Clearly, it was distributed without their consent and those who initially shared it should face the criminal penalties they deserve. But the impact of their actions was magnified by the participation of everybody else who shared the video – and we need to talk about this before it happens to somebody else. 

Whichever side of the fence you’re on, it’s worth keeping in mind that incidents like these are still a novelty to which our collective conscience has yet to calibrate. It’s only recently that technology has allowed for a video of this kind to be shot and spread so effectively around the country without the consent of the protagonists.

Phone

Whether we reacted to the video with amusement or horror, one thing is clear: the vast majority of us would have found it impossible to avoid participating in some way or other in the demolition of this couple’s privacy. 

But it’s only a matter of time until we see this form of sharing for what it is: a new form of rape that will soon stop being socially accepted the way it seems to be today.

Everybody who shared that video over the past 48 hours, was taking part in an act that robbed the primary victim (the woman was immediately identifiable, the man was not) of her dignity and privacy in a way that will scar her for life and result in countless consequences. And as with rape, they have done so without her consent. 

Interestingly, the legal term for rape is “carnal knowledge”. The term is a euphemism for sexual penetration, but perhaps its euphemistic origin serves to highlight the spirit of the law beyond its accepted definition. Ultimately, rape is an act of invading a person’s intimacy against their will, typically using flesh as the weapon of penetration. Hence, carnal knowledge. The weapon may have changed over time – now taking the form of our mobile phones instead of our penises – but the result is the same, if not worse, since there are now so many perpetrators stealing that ‘knowledge’. 

Woman

The impact may have also changed in form. Physical pain from physical rape has in this case become psycho-emotional pain from psycho-emotional violence. But again, the result is the same, if not worse, since it is magnified on such a huge scale and the consequences are more far-reaching.

We may feel less complicit because so many other people are doing it. After all, we’re just sharing a video among friends – or watching it ourselves – without wishing harm on the victim. But really, aren’t we simply being accomplices when we know so clearly our collective actions are exacerbating the harm towards the victim? How can we defend ourselves by saying we had no intention of doing so? 

In the future, it might not be this way. There will come a time, hopefully, when we take privacy and intimacy more seriously. Perhaps in a few years’ time, when a video is shared on our Whatsapp or Facebook threads, we will all be horrified by the person sharing it, the way we would be if they had shared child porn, or a violent rape. 

Until then, the sad truth is that there will have to be more victims. It is only until more men see their daughters, sisters or loved ones in videos like these, that they will start to think twice about sharing them and sharing banter at their expense. The changed laws will surely help, but the culture will take longer to adapt.  

In the meantime, instead of casting blame at those who helped spread the video, we should take our own steps to help accelerate this change. Next time someone sends you a video of someone at their most intimate, imagine yourself in their place. Imagine your daughter, your sister, your friend, your mother. Imagine the hurt it will cause. And measure that against the supposed pleasure you will take in being in on the joke. Instead of watching it, or sharing it, or telling a friend about it, just delete it. And just hope that if you’re ever surreptitiously filmed at your most vulnerable or non-consensually exposed in such a way, more people will do the same for you.

Hopefully, it’s only a matter of time until they will. 

Woman Png

Share this post if you agree

READ NEXT: Why It’s Harder For Maltese Women To Report Rape

Christian is an award-winning journalist and entrepreneur who founded Lovin Malta, a new media company dedicated to creating positive impact in society. He is passionate about justice, public finances and finding ways to build a better future.

You may also love

View All