To help Qatar prepare for its inaugural world cup, the World Cup hosts played friendly matches against national teams and domestic clubs from across the world. Their preparation included losing 3-0 to Croatia’s under-23 side and a 2-0 loss to Canada.

More recently however their fortunes have improved. They’ve brushed aside the cream of the crop of footballing nations, beating Albania, Guatemala, Honduras and they even thrashed Panama 2-1. What a result!

Fans and football associations have voiced their concerns about Qatar being hosts, including boycotts by German football fans at Dortmund’s famous Signal Iduna arena. The Danish FA condemned Qatar’s human rights record and sports manufacturer hummel launched their ‘toned-down world cup kit’ in protest. 

Following negative publicity, a Danish broadcast journalist, Rasmus Tantholdt appeared to be cut off and threatened live on TV by Qatari officials even though the media team had the relevant permits and had done nothing against the ordinary.

Qatari World Cup organisers have since apologised to the journalist.

On accommodation the true extent has been revealed. Shoddy conditions on offer for would-be travelers have hit a sour note and comparisons have been drawn to the infamous ‘Fyre Festival’.

Who wants to sleep in a tent in the middle of one of the world’s hottest countries? For €296 per night (I might add).

*Cue the sound of crickets whilst a tumbleweed passes by*

You can have the privilege to stay in a pimped-out garden gazebo with a zipper door for short of €300. What a bargain eh? The Qatari government really has outdone themselves.

Some would say the organisers are “damaged in the mind” if they think people are stupid enough to spend their hard-earned wonga on these substandard facilities.

The tiny Gulf state has spent upwards of $200 billion to prepare the country for the World Cup. They’ve built roads, stadiums with air-conditioning and even cities. They couldn’t manage the 11 stadium builds that Fifa requested however, and will be hosting the tournament across eight newly-built arenas.

But what will happen to these facilities after the World Cup?

What happened to the investments made by previous host nations of major tournaments?

When Athens hosted the Olympic Games – in 2004 – it was on the cusp of a financial crisis and economic meltdown. Soon after, the global recession of 2008 ensued. Athens budgeted €1.54 billion for the games. Yet developments ran way over budget and ended up costing “billions and billions” – as Donald Trump would say.

Since then, government-funded facilities have been left unused, rotting and rusting – by a Greek government that bit off more than they could chew. What will happen to these Qatari stadiums in the middle of the desert after hosting the most contentious World Cup of all time?

Will history repeat itself and will these structures be left to be consumed by Mother Nature? Like countless other host cities of major sporting events. Or will sports associations award Qatar with more events, seeing as they now have the infrastructure and stadia requirements?

Will Qatar suddenly become a football powerhouse and begin brushing aside the likes of Brazil and Argentina? Will that be the legacy imprinted on the Gulf state nation? My soothsayer eight ball says that ‘the outlook is bleak’.

Surely it would’ve made more sense to host the World Cup in a country that has the infrastructure in place to host an international tournament. And two, a country that has a bit of footballing history and heritage behind it?

What of, England and their ‘Auld enemy Scotland? Maybe Wales too?

They’d be great joint-hosts. As Boris Johnson would say, the UK has plenty of “oven-ready” stadia across the United Kingdom.

For example; In Scotland you have Parkhead, Ibrox, Hampden and Murrayfield all at a worthy capacity level for such a tiny nation. Whilst the likes of Wembley, the Emirates, Old Trafford, Anfield, St James’ Park, Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, West Ham’s London Stadium and Man City’s Etihad Stadium could easily cope.

You could conceivably throw the home of English Rugby, Twickenham into the mix. Wales too would be in with a shout, via the Millenium Stadium – the fourth largest stadium in the UK.

What an occasion that would be. The Brits certainly know how to party and how to host a good ol’ knees up. You wouldn’t be at risk of arrest for drinking in public, nor would the queer community risk being stoned.

Moving on from facilities, alternative hosts and the financial cost of the tournament, there’s the human element to major tournaments. Fans of nations coming together, unsegregated and allowed to engage with one another. Unfortunately, this is unlikely to be possible. Many fans of countries simply won’t be able to afford to travel to Qatar – especially following the hike in airfares and the cost of fuel.

The average wage in Argentina is approximately €400 per month. Football is a working-class game, remember, and Buenos Aires is the world capital of football too, with over 54 professional clubs competing within the CABA boundaries (Autonomous City of Buenos Aires).

I guess this is why Qatar’s organisers have allegedly resorted to measures, such as hiring fake fans to masquerade as followers of England, Argentina and other nations’ fans.

Those watching on will surely be thinking… how embarrassing. Will the Three Lions Barmy Army section be filled with migrant workers who have allegedly been paid to pretend to support England? Those watching on from home will no doubt come to their own conclusions once matches commence.

Qatari organisers and fans online have however hit out at the fake fan reports claiming that, “Most migrants that live in Qatar haven’t had a chance to see their own nation compete at a World Cup. The likes of Indian, Pakistani and Bangladeshi migrants often support nations that their favourite superstars play for”.

It’s not inconceivable that there’s movement on both sides – in this regard. It’s difficult to support a team that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere or qualifying for anything, as the Maltese know too well. Hence why the Maltese divide their support between both  England and Italy at most major tournaments. The carcading in Malta when Italy knocked England out of the Euros on penalties being testament to this.

In the great age of misinformation, who knows what to believe? We’ll soon find out with our own eyes.

England fans in Qatar 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 pic.twitter.com/itMdMh2wRG

— World Cup Updates (@wc22updates) November 16, 2022

Even today, more news has spilled out of Qatar, after they announced that beers won’t be allowed within stadiums. It’s rumoured that the Qatari Royal family applied pressure to Fifa. Surely not the same pressure they use to win the World Cup?

Perhaps they’re just following what the Scots implemented back in 1980? Prevention measures? The Scottish government first introduced an alcohol ban in Scottish stadiums following aggressive scenes at the end of the 1980 Scottish Cup final.

Horse-mounted police charged at the rioting fans after Celtic’s 1-0 extra-time win over Old Firm rivals Rangers. The scenes were broadcast across the world and over 200 arrests were made. Shortly after, the government introduced the Criminal Justice (Scotland) Act which quickly became law.

Since then, fans have been unable to buy booze – unless they can afford the premium-priced corporate hospitality seats. 42 years without a drink in a Scottish football stadium. Doha us a favour eh? The well-behaved majority were once again tarred with the same brush as the guilty minority.

I wonder if the same rule will apply in Qatar. Will the rich and famous be able to drink in hospitality? Surely Emmanuel Macron will want a glass of wine at France v Tunisia?

The rhetoric being bandied around by the media and fans is that this will be the worst ever World Cup. We’ve discussed a few points. But let’s just list them.

Here’s my starter for 11 – rather than 10 – on why Qatar will be the worst world cup ever…

1. It’s a World Cup that could well have been won through bribes and corruption.
2. It’s a World Cup that took advantage of migrants and abused their human rights.
3. It’s a World Cup where the queer community are not welcome.
4. It’s a World Cup where fanzone accommodation is a tent with a zip-door
5. It’s a World Cup where drinking alcohol in public is illegal punishable by up to three-year
6. It’s a World Cup where a pint of beer will cost €14 euros and you won’t be allowed to drink that pint after 18.30pm
7. It’s a World Cup where shorts and sleeveless tops are ill-advised and people have been encouraged to dress modestly. Dress modestly in 40 degree heat.
8. It’s a World Cup where smoking in public spaces is prohibited and you can be fined up to €800
9. It’s a World Cup where the importation, purchase and use of e-cigarettes is outlawed and you’ll get 3 months prison time or a €2,500 fine for doing so.
10. It’s a World Cup where swearing and lewd gestures are prohibited and anyone caught doing so can face deportation or imprisonment.
11. It’s a World Cup where any form of public intimacy – whether heterosexual or homosexual – can lead to arrest.

Whatever happens over the next three weeks, one thing is guaranteed. We all hope Ecuador pump Qatar. Hopefully the Ecuador players don’t take the Qatari bribes. But if they do, let’s hope they renegade on any ‘corrupt’ agreement.

Tag a football fan and comment whether you agree or not…