Go ahead. Give up on your dreams. I dare you.
We’re all taught from a very young age that we should never give up on our dreams, but I need you to read this till the end in order to understand why I want you to give up on them now.
1. Your dreams aren’t always what they seem to be
It’s not normal or healthy for someone to have the same dream forever. We all wanted to be a vet when we were like, five years old. Or at least, I genuinely wanted that.
How many of you still hone that dream and have achieved it? If you did, you deserve a big fat proset. But generally, four-year-old you is quite different from 25-year-old you.
Four-year-old you had no idea that the veterinary industry is extremely depressing — you need to put down family pets for a living for fuck’s sake man. Personally, that would break me down. I’m not trying to burst anyone’s bubble here, I’m just giving you guys my opinion, and why it only took me growing up to realise that.
2. People change
This is not only seen in our goals, but also in our relationships.
People change all the time, and the person you were five years ago is a ghost of who you are today. Seriously, go compare your Facebook statuses from yesterday to whatever bullshit you put up five years ago and you’ll see how right I am.
So it’s vital for us to keep in mind that sometimes we don’t give up on something because we are scared to do so. One of our primal instincts is fear. This has been ingrained in us since we were children — ara taqa’ għax noqtlok, tiġrix għax tweġġa and so on. Fear controls our life in ways we don’t even realise, and the fact that what you wanted all your life isn’t what you really need now at this stage, is scary AF.
The knowledge of somehow ‘failing’ to achieve something will make you feel like you’re a loser, however you need to realise that we are ever-changing beings.
3. Sometimes, giving up can be liberating AF
People will tell you to hold on with all your might, to try your best to achieve whatever it is you want. However, most times this is not actually in your best interest.
You might have a dream of becoming the first desiccated testicle juggler in the world or whatever, but that will come at a price — and so does every dream you have.
Is it worth sacrificing the people you love just to carry your bag of testicles around? That’s something only you can answer, but in my case it wasn’t.
4. Letting go of an unreasonable dream is the best thing you can do to start moving forward
Dreams can be just as toxic as people.
Sometimes, we decide to stick to someone even though they’re not worth the hassle. We don’t really like giving up on people, and that’s why some of us end despising their partners at some point in life, because they are not worth your time and energy. Same goes for dreams.
Imagine if you are going to move houses for the first time. Your possessions range from the shit your mum kept for you since you were born, to whatever you own today. Will you take your baby slippers with you to your new home? No. And if you do you, you might have some issues.
You’ll only carry the essential stuff with you to your new home. You need to make space for new possessions.
Same goes with emotions, people and dreams. Don’t carry around stuff you don’t need anymore, it will only make your bags heavier and your weedy arms sore.
5. You will try to fight for your dreams (or love), no matter how horrible they are
Try and go back to that time when you had to let go of something that was terrible. Maybe go back to your first relationship or whatever, I don’t know you. Letting go, even of the most horrible and nauseating person you’ve met, will hurt.
You will try your utmost to keep that person in your life forever. Giving up hurts like a motherfucker. Even if giving up is the best choice you can do for yourself or for the other person, it will still hurt like being stabbed right through your heart.
But trust me; pain is not permanent and within a couple of months, you will forget almost all about it. You will feel horrible, you will become depressed, but after a couple of months, you will catch yourself laughing. Real laughter. The kind that makes your soul feel ticklish, and you will realise right there and then that you’re happy. It’s ok boo, kollox jgħaddi. I promise you.
6. It’s easier to run in circles
We’re creatures of habit, even the most detestable of habits.
The easiest way out is to keep on following the same dream, keep on falling back into bad habits, to lie to yourself and say “This is really what I want” but sometimes it really isn’t qalbi. Honestly.
Going off-track is so scary, most people don’t even want to think about it. They’re bound to the comfort of familiarity and the autopilot tendencies they have honed throughout their lives. It’s an actual habit.
Breaking free from what is most familiar to us is so scary, it makes you want to shit yourself, but risking to lose your safety blanket is probably one of the best things you can do in life.
The thought of going off-track will be one of the most scary things you might need to do in life. You need to fight the scary stuff off — that bitch will throw hissy fits like there’s no tomorrow. It will hiss, spit and flay at you. Your fear to go off track will throw insecurities and fears at you in a way you have never imagined, but doing it will most probably be the best thing you’ve ever done for yourself.
7. You will find your true purpose in life
After you get liberated from the idea that you need to have a purpose and a dream to chase, you will find what your actual purpose is. Most probably, you might just drift towards it without even knowing.
I mean, I thought my purpose was design since forever, but look at me sitting here on my cushy chair, lip syncing to 80s synth pop and giving you life advice. If you don’t find your purpose it’s ok, as long as you’re not an asshole and you’re loving and kind to everyone around you (and yourself), you’re doing just fine.
8. It really is all about the journey, not the destination
I know, cheesy m’Alla, but this is what you really need to keep in mind.
I graduated in a field which 20-year old me was crazy about, but fast-forward five years, a colossal amount of tears, sweat and perseverance, and I hated it.
I studied Graphic Design and Media. I had already given up on my A-levels a couple of years earlier. I felt almost as if I was obligated to complete this course and get a job in Design just so that I can say “yay I did it”. Well, and not to be a disappointment.
I’m not sorry about getting that (honestly kinda ugly) certificate, but I’m sorry I did not pursue something I was truly passionate about. While my classmates were revelling in the fact that they will now land their dream job, I was petrified, deep down thinking, “Ee issa xiżżobb ħa nagħmel?”
My journey to where I am today was ethereal.
I made tons of friends, people who I am grateful towards forever. And if I did not choose to follow the wrong dream, I wouldn’t have met some of my greatest friends.
9. You’ll figure it out
I promise you will. Pinky promise.
You’re a human being. We are one of those pesky races which always seems to find a way to survive the most tragic events in history. Not only that, but we also manage to destroy anything which might be an obstacle to us. Ask them trees we were chopping down like crazy maniacs last month. Also, all those sieges and wars we survived? Does that not mean anything to you?
And this is for all you younger(ish) people out there who have no idea what they want to do with their life: Don’t fucking worry. Please.
Life is not a race, live it at your own pace and have fun. You’ll figure it out someday, no need to worry about that right now. If your sister figured it out when she was five years old, it does not really mean anything, because everyone is different.
I only figured out what I wanted(ish) when I was 24 years old, and that will probably change in a couple of years, so it’s OK. Don’t sweat, and throw away that stupid bucket list you’ve been keeping since you were 15. As I said, we are creatures of change, so just do what you want to do, and if you don’t know what you want to do, just do something you enjoy for now, imbagħad naraw.
You’re a survivor and no matter what happens, you will survive. Here’s one of my favourite songs to give you some courage. Blast it at full volume the next time you feel overwhelmed.