5 Maltese Ministers Become Panto Dames

Oh no they don't! Oh yes they do!


Our Cabinet Ministers would fit right into Panto. They're used to the booing, hissing and ridiculous jokes heard in Parliament. The only difference from a real Panto cast is that it's difficult to find the hero among all the baddies.

Here are 5 Ministers who are treading the boards as Panto Dames this year:

1. Dame Tina-Bill Mannara (Chris Cardona)

Dame Mannara leads a debauched life, jetting to and from Arabia on a magic carpet, where she imbibes huge amounts of liquor. She can go into terrible rages, threatening to chop down all around her, but deep down she is a cuddly lady who just wants to be loved.

Chris Cardona

2. Private E. May Laddress (Evarist Bartolo)

Private Laddress is a retired soldier who has served her country long and well. She retired because long years of exposure to unpalatable sights have made her unable to see any evil.

Evarist Bartolo

3. Dame Janey Hugbejni (George Vella)

Dame Hugbejni can be recognised by her humongous enchanted eyebrows, which mesmerise all that fall under her spell. With their help, she has had many a foreign affair.

George Vella

4. Ms Vitalia Teikova (Chris Fearne)

Ms Teikova helps keep the narrative going by making all the audience members wonder why panto tickets cost so much more when the panto is essentially the same as it always was.

Chris Fearne

5. Prof. Aisha Nell Sai-Lenz (Edward Scicluna)

Prof Sai-Lenz has the unenviable task of dealing with all the other characters misdeeds and of saying the final words "Be nice to each other!"

Edward Scicluna

Do you know any other ministers who would make excellent Panto dames? Let us know in the comments below!

READ NEXT: The Christmas Alter Egos of Maltese Politicians

Written By

Max Dingli

Max is bald and grumpy. He is in training to become the world's first Wikipedia warrior.