Now that cremation is legal in Malta, it’s likely that many of us will have ourselves and our loved ones burnt to a crisp once they reach the end of their time on this earth.
The standard thing to do with your ashes once you’ve been cremated is to either store them in an urn or spread them somewhere, like in the ocean. But I think we should start to mix things up a bit. Make them exciting.
Here are seven things you can have done with your ashes in Malta once you’ve been cremated.
1. Become a firework
Mix your ashes in with the gun powder used to launch fireworks during your local village festa and go out with a literal bang.
2. Become an eye shadow
Mix your ashes in with a bit of glitter and press it into a nice grey eye shadow. Then your loved ones will be able to wear you in the form of a smokey eye.
3. Fix a pothole
Mix yourself with a tarmac mixture and cover up one of the many pot holes gracing our Maltese roads. The population will be grateful.
4. Turn yourself into a family heirloom
Press your ashes into a stone and turn it into a pendant that can be passed down to the most worthy members of your family. Imagine your descendants fighting over who gets to keep you. Such fun.
5. Fire yourself out of a canon
Split your ashes into two halves; one half will be mixed with the gun powder that sets off the canon and the second half will replace the confetti. Spread your ashes everywhere in the most explosive way possible.
6. Fertilise some soil
Do your bit for the local countryside (what’s left of it anyway) and mix your ashes in with some fertiliser to donate your human nutrients to the soil. It works, it’s science.
7. Make yourself into a painting
Adding some water to your ashes (might) create a sort of water-colour-like paint. Hire an artist to paint a portrait of you with your ashes and have it hung in the living room so you can watch over everyone. Forever.