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I Formed My Own Fantasy Maltese Football Team Based Solely On Their Looks Ahead Of Tonight’s Match

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I don’t know much about football. But I do know a lot about the players on the Spanish national team. Why? Because that team has an excellent track record. And they’re all pretty sexy. And believe it or not, they’ll be facing off against our own national team tonight in the Euro 2020 qualifier games.

We’re still on a high after emerging victorious with a 2-1 win against the Faroe Islands last Saturday, but let’s be honest; our chances of snatching a win against Spain are a little slim. So let’s be clever about how we play this one; our national team may not be able to win the match in the conventional sense, but we can sure try very hard to beat them on the sexy-scale.

So I’ve drafted my own suggestion for tonight’s line-up in order to harness the ultimate power from the team’s muscles, hair, smiles and tattoos. But before we begin, two kind reminders;

1. I know nothing about football

2. This a joke.

Right. Let’s get cracking.

1. Andrew Hogg

Obviously, we need a sexy man in net, waiting to catch some goals and also some hearts.

hogg

2. Rowen Muscat

No such thing as a list of sexy footballers without Rowen Muscat.

rowen

3. Andrei Agius

I mean, look at his beautiful baby blues.

andrei

4. Matthew Guillaumier

Washboard abs and a jaw line that could kill? Go get ’em tiger.

matt g

5. Kyrian Nwoko

Footballers by the sea; I’m a fan of this theme.

nwoko

6. Steve Borg

I would very like to watch those tattoos in live-action.

7. Johnathan Caruana

May the power of the stache be with you.

8. Bjorn Kristensen

This Nordic beauty is a welcome addition to our team.

9. Zach Muscat

If you need a tanning partner, please let me know.

zachm

10. Luke Montebello

I would very much like to run my hands though the hair on his head.

11. Henry Bonello

I know he’s a keeper, and we only need one. But I wanted to include him, because look at him.

Henry b

Did I leave any essential sexy players out? Let me know in the comments below

READ NEXT: RANKED: The 11 Sexiest Male Professions In Malta

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