I don’t know much about football. But I do know a lot about the players on the Spanish national team. Why? Because that team has an excellent track record. And they’re all pretty sexy. And believe it or not, they’ll be facing off against our own national team tonight in the Euro 2020 qualifier games.
We’re still on a high after emerging victorious with a 2-1 win against the Faroe Islands last Saturday, but let’s be honest; our chances of snatching a win against Spain are a little slim. So let’s be clever about how we play this one; our national team may not be able to win the match in the conventional sense, but we can sure try very hard to beat them on the sexy-scale.
So I’ve drafted my own suggestion for tonight’s line-up in order to harness the ultimate power from the team’s muscles, hair, smiles and tattoos. But before we begin, two kind reminders;
1. I know nothing about football
2. This a joke.
Right. Let’s get cracking.
1. Andrew Hogg
Obviously, we need a sexy man in net, waiting to catch some goals and also some hearts.
2. Rowen Muscat
No such thing as a list of sexy footballers without Rowen Muscat.
3. Andrei Agius
I mean, look at his beautiful baby blues.
4. Matthew Guillaumier
Washboard abs and a jaw line that could kill? Go get ’em tiger.
5. Kyrian Nwoko
Footballers by the sea; I’m a fan of this theme.
6. Steve Borg
I would very like to watch those tattoos in live-action.
7. Johnathan Caruana
May the power of the stache be with you.
8. Bjorn Kristensen
This Nordic beauty is a welcome addition to our team.
9. Zach Muscat
If you need a tanning partner, please let me know.
10. Luke Montebello
I would very much like to run my hands though the hair on his head.
11. Henry Bonello
I know he’s a keeper, and we only need one. But I wanted to include him, because look at him.