8 Things That Should Also Declare Independence In Malta
Happy Independence Day everyone! As Malta celebrates another anniversary it allows others to dream of a future when they too will be self-governing. Here are our predictions for soon-to-be declarations of independence.
1. The anti-Delia core from the PN
It’s no secret that a lot of PN supporters who were (vocally) opposed to new leader Adrian Delia currently feel a little lost and without scope. Well, what better time than the present to officially split and declare independence. North Carolina, South Carolina. North Korea, South Korea. North PN, South PN.
2. Comino from the rest of the archipelago
We often hear talk of Gozo needing to be an independent state (Instagram even made that a reality for some) but why not consider nominating our smallest sister instead? Sure there’s only three residents with which to form a government, but think of how much cleaner and quieter it would be if people had to queue at border control before getting off their boats.
3. The racists from Malta
Perhaps it’s time to graciously donate Filfa to everyone who feels we’ve lost Malta to all these barranin. Give them the independence they crave, let them set their own immigration rules and everyone else can live harmoniously.
4. V18 from Twistees
The whole island is looking forward to becoming Europe’s Capital of Culture, but even that won’t excuse the limited edition Twistees mess. From flavour choices to packaging issues, the entire V18 team should distance themselves officially from all things Twistee.
5. Franklin Barbara from the MUT
So many are still not over over the painful loss by a measly six votes. To those still hoping for a Barbara presidency, the only shot you have is an independent state led by the meme maker himself.
6. Eurovision from Lawrence Grey
As he announces he’s entering the Malta Eurovision Song Contest for what must be the 75th time, it’s time to stop asking him to call it quits, and to empower the Eurovision to be the one to end the relationship.
7. Regular Facebook from old-people-Facebook
Imagine a social media sphere free from minions or pixellated memes about “willies” (or worse, pixellated minion memes about “willies”). Sure it’ll mostly be food pics and selfies, but we’re sure we’ll be better off.
8. Camille’s from the ‘ri’
The rumours about the source of the infamous surname will be quelled once and for all. Once independence is achieved, Camilles and Camilleris will forever be two separate entities.