Sunlight has a way of sneaking back in. Through the blinds you thought were shut tight. Through laughter that wasn’t planned, but aches your cheeks when the smiles fade. Through cats sunbathing in a warmspot on the floor. Through nostalgia – like the eureka moment of getting a gameboy cart to load after blowing into it, even though science pretty much says it does more damage than help.

Yellow is a joy, but it isn’t naive. The joy has bite. It’s learning to let yourself live in the moment again after years of convincing yourself adulthood was all seriousness and bureaucracy. It’s like sweating through your shirt on a night out and not caring. It’s Pride floats and glitter stains on your pillowcase the next morning. It’s the incomplete deck of Pokémon cards spread across the kitchen table, there’s still enough to have fun with.

I used to think joy was earned. Like once I’d healed enough, once I’d worked enough, once I’d “deserved” it, I’d just find it. But I have come to learn that joy is the prize. Like Vitamin D, you don’t realise how much you actually needed it until you step outside and feel your body saying yeah, that’s the good stuff.

Baryn is an occasional writer with a penchant for quiet corners and long walks through Malta, hunting Pokémon. Obsessed with all things Pocket Monsters, nostalgia and self-reflection, he drifts between the past and daydreams of the future while trying to catch them and live his best life doing so. Join along in the journey @jacxbsen_. 

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