What The Scruff? These Maltese Dudes Are Rocking Some Fine Ass Facial Hairdos
Perhaps more than any other trait, beards are perceived as a sign of rough masculinity.
They visibly differentiate male from female in today’s society, provide warmth, shield skin from the elements and can also tickle your inner thigh for a delight of naughty giggles. And while gender may be just a construct to some, a beard is still a pretty cool accessory for a man to sport – they make any face at least 20% cooler.
One time I asked myself what would Jesus do? Then I grew a beard.
Whether you’re looking for some inspiration for your facial feature or just fancy a gander at some hairy thirst traps, we’ve got you covered. We took a look at some of Malta’s finest facial hair and these are just a few of the masterpieces that stood out from the crowd.
1. Manuel ‘The Moustache King’ Aquilina
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He’s been on our screens for as long as we can remember cooking up some of the finest recipes that are perfect for any summer feast, but he’s also been rocking a pretty rad ‘stache that could give any Parisian café patron a run for their money.
2. Luke ‘The Thirst Quencher’ Bugeja
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Serving up some real grizzly vibes, he might not be a bear but that beard is thicc.
3. Mel ‘Still A Cub’ Aquilina
Speaking of thicc, Mel is definitely the kind of bear you’d happily approach in the woodlands. His beard is also thick-with-a-K and we are not complaining.
4. Matthew ‘Beard-Venture’ Gauci Abela
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An avid beard enthusiast, and rightly so, Matthew roams the island with his beard in tow in search of barbecues, beer and other like-bearded individuals to share the joys of being of a Beard-o with.
5. Yakof ‘The Bearded Reader’ Debono
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Bookworm, teacher and all-round handsome chap, Yakof sports a sleek and chic “long stubble” look. Groomed to every inch of perfection, we wonder how may trips to the barber this guy makes in a month.
6. Mario ‘Censu’ Galea
Puff daddy here goes with a casual “ducktail” paired with a cigar. The perfect blend of sophistication and the Mediterranean lifestyle, this beard is one we want to keep an eye on.
7. Jeff ‘The Summer Santa’ Fabri
Probably giving out great beard tips rather than gifts, Jeff’s beard is a work of silver beauty whose maintenance must take more time and patience than it takes to sit through Sarah Zerafa’s Instagram stories.
8. Mario ‘Swashbuckler’ Clinch
Just the perfect amount of salt and pepper here make Mario’s beard a piece worthy of envy from any fellow seaman.
9. Renato ‘The Real Deal’ Spiteri
Salt, pepper, silver, sexy.
10. Bobbles ‘Bobb’ Attard
Short and thick does the trick, pair it with a pupper and you’re heading straight to weak-knee central.
11. Damien ‘DC’ Chetcuti
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Another one for the thick-haired lovers, Damien also sports a “ducktail” but a more sharply defined style that could cut glass and quench thirst.
12. Gary ‘Needs No Introduction’ Bugeja
He’s usually the one behind the camera shooting the beards, but he deserves some love for his own whiskers too.
13. Karl ‘il-Papa’ Fenech
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Karl has one of the most defined beards we’ve seen and there’s a thick AF moustache on top of it all. Look at him, teaching his son the art of the beard already… Hey, papi!
14. Sean ‘il-Vjola’ Borg
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Not just the fantastically talented violinist for the New Victorians, Sean sports the cutest ‘tache on the tip of face-hugger. Look at dat flick o’ the whisk.
15. Frank ‘I Found The Żibġa’ Zammit
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While the white beard has now waved it’s goodbyes, Frank deserves a little love for his audacious beard customisation (and for his genius Instagram handle).
16. Tonio ‘il-King ta’ Daqna’ Axisa
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Hands down Malta’s king of beards, Tonio also works very closely with the Ronald McDonald House Charity and curates his own Facebook page that giving respect to all fellow “Beard-os” with weekly shoutouts to some of the finest fuzz Malta has to offer.
BONUS: Owen ‘The Papi of Politics’ Bonnici
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Arguably one of Malta’s daddy-est dads, Mr Bonnici no longer needs to poll on the preference of the public. We wanted it, we got it and we hope it stays.