Yes Consent Is An Important Issue And All, But The Real Question Is: Why Would You Want To Pelt A Woman With Eggs?
The talk of the town (or island) for the past couple of days has been well and truly Egg/Stripper-Gate. If you don’t know what that means you can read about it here. And also, where have you been? But in summary:
A stripper hired for a local bachelor’s party was pelted violently with eggs by the men (and the questionable involvement of a 12-year-old boy), they filmed it and put it online, word spread that she hadn’t consented to that, the public got mad, she then said she had consented, but people were still mad.
The biggest topic of debate surrounding this whole debacle has been the issue of consent
Whether she had actually given it, and if she didn’t would she have lost the job? Is verbal consent the same as written? Is she mentally stable enough to give consent? Did she consent to it being filmed? What even is consent?*
The thing is, she says she consented. And, even though it made its way around the internet, it isn’t really much of our business. It was disgusting yes, but peeing on someone during sex is disgusting too. It’s just none of our business.
*consent /kənˈsɛnt/
But I think there’s another, more pressing question that we need to be asking here.
Why would you want to pelt a stranger with eggs?
Because *that* is what is doing my head in. This woman was hired as a professional at this bachelor’s party (yes, sex workers are professionals), she wasn’t there because the men know her. Humiliating and embarassing your friends I get. I’ve heard some crazy stories from stag nights, like hair being set on fire and a groom being hung naked on a pole in Attard.
But those are things done by friends to friends. Lord knows I’ve egged my share of friends on their birthdays. And being a ‘friend’ thing doesn’t make it any less disgusting, but there’s a bit of a ‘we’re in this together’ element. Its a camaraderie thing. You’ll remember it years down the line and laugh about it together. Or you’ll royally piss your friend off and then you’ll have to deal with it.
But doing it to someone you don’t know? That’s an ‘us VS them’ situation
Or rather an ‘us VS you’ situation. And it totally changes things. The group dynamic changes into one where the many have power over the individual, and they’re given the ‘confidence’ to run wild with their urges. By feeling as if they’re in charge, the ‘us’ will feel empowered to take it a bit too far.
In fact, if you’ve seen the video, they’re not simply throwing some eggs and flour and making mess, they’re literally pelting her. They’re throwing the eggs hard, and it definitely looks like it hurt. And yes the groom was being pelted alongside her, but again; friends.
Performance artist Marina Abramović can prove this to be true.
Her performance Rhythm 0 pushed the limits of consent and allowed the ‘group’ (in this case, the audience) to take full control over her body and place her in a dangerous situation. The performance consisted of a table covered in multiple objects, herself, and the following instructions:
There are 72 objects on the table that one can use on me as desired.
Performance.
I am the object.
During this period I take full responsibility.
Duration: 6 hours (8 pm – 2 am).
The objects on the table ranged from feathers and bread to knives and a gun
And the audience had six hours to use these objects on Marina as they liked. It began tamely, until somebody attempted to strip her and touch her inappropriately, and she let them.
When the group learned that they really could do what they wanted, things quickly got out of control. Soon, all her clothes were cut from her with razor blades. The same blades then began to explore her skin. Her throat was slashed so someone could suck her blood and various minor sexual assaults were carried out on her body. When a loaded gun was thrust to Marina’s head and her own finger was being worked around the trigger, a fight broke out between the audience and it ended there.
But she had given consent to it all, so it’s ok right?
Consent shouldn’t trump morals and values
And being a sex worker is not an invitation to be dehumanised. Pelting someone you don’t know with eggs is not fun, its weird and its violent and it shouldn’t bring you any sort of joy. And don’t even get me started on the whole gender thing, because that’s an entire other basket of eggs.
Let’s just try to be better in general, and look for different ways to have fun.