Anatomicals are as cheeky as they get. Their About Us section reads less like a company brief and more like a work of fiction, and it’s that same quirkiness that they bring to the table when it comes to their products. Put quite simply (and in their own words), “Anatomicals manufacture the world’s funkiest toiletries… and so far people seem to like them.”

Here are 11 of the cutest, coolest and punniest products they’ve got on offer. Brace yourselves.

1. Snog Me Senseless

Sure, these peppermints might be sugar-free, but they’re definitely not lacking in the cheeky department with that title.

And let’s face it; who wouldn’t want to snog you senseless if you’ve got a fresh and minty breath?

2. The Hottie Tottie Is Never Spotty

This face mask sachet is ready to help you become the hottest (and least spotty) version of yourself. You might have 99 problems, but your skin ain’t one!

Definitely vital when you remember all the dust and smoke that’s just flying around Malta.

3. Please, Please, Oh Please Go To Bed With Us

Who are you to deny such an adorable request?

A sleep mask that’s ready for anything, from long-haul flights to that perfectly tucked night-in.

4. Be Good With Your Hands In Bed

Pastaż. We know what you’re thinking, and judging by Anatomicals’ way of promoting their products, they do too.

A night time hand cream to make sure that, whatever you’re doing in bed, you’re doing it with the softest hands possible.

5. Oi! You Throbhead

Ever wished you could rub your headaches away but then it only gets worse when you get out of the house and meet a 45 minute traffic jam?

That’s where this best selling relief balm comes in… specifically onto your temples.  

6. We Never Forget A Face

And that’s something you can take their word for (even in a small country like Malta).

Daily cleansing moisturiser with exfoliating acid which you’ll struggle to forget. And let’s face it; you won’t want to anyway.

7. Never Lose Your Cherry

Now that’s rich coming from a company like Anatomicals, but they really do want to protect your lip cherry.

This lip balm might be SPF 8, but what it’s really good at is not repelling stuff, but attracting. People. Towards your lips. 

8. Not Another Rough Day Please

Sometimes, getting out of bed might feel like a chore. Add to that equation the sudden cold bouts hitting the Maltese Islands lately, and you’ll soon be begging for a pick-me-up.

Well, consider yourself picked up, with this body lotion to make sure you start your day on the right footing.

9. Puffy The Eye Bag Slayer

Seriously, whoever comes up with these names deserves a promotion. 

Under-eye patches to make sure you never wake up with puffy eyes again, because you deserve to be fabulous from the moment you open your eyes.

10. Shower To The People

There’s a revolution coming… and it’s going to happen when we’re all naked and under running water.

A body cleanser with grapefruit and lemongrass sounds amazing, so think about just how awesome you’re going to feel after you apply some. 

Whether you’re walking in Valletta or hiking in Għajn Tuffieħa, people will just know you’ve put this on. Trust us.

11. Wanted In 52 States For A Salt

Get it? 

A strawberry-flavoured salt scrub with the cutest (and punniest) name around. We might not have states back in Malta, but you’ll still be wanted by everyone else. For the best of reasons.

Tag someone who’d love to buy some of Anatomicals’ products!

David Grech Urpani

Lovin Malta's Head of Content, Dave has been in journalism for the better half of the last decade. Prefers Instagram, but has been known to doomscroll on TikTok. Loves chicken, women's clothes and Kanye West (most of the time).