13 Things That Could Only Go Wrong At A Maltese Wedding

For girls, boys and their mums all over the islands – a wedding day is really a contender for one of the most extravagant days they’ll ever have. Why? because Maltese wedding guests are insanely good at creating memorable moments.

Sometimes, too good. And not necessarily for the right reasons. Here’s a few worst-case-wedding-scenarios that could only happen in Malta.

1. You’ll start the day with brajd-u-bejkin

There goes your pristine white strapless dress – because mummy was worried you’d get too drunk without a proper breakfast. 

2. The groom will pass out with sun stroke

Because it was imperative that him and the boys get żibel in the sun for the whole day before. #TaLaħħar

3. It doesn’t rain – it pours

Remember when it was sunny like fifteen seconds ago? Yeah, that’s over.  

4. Someone will lose the rings

Last time we saw them Ziju Ġuz had them – he was heading to the toilet with a Cisk… 

5. The bride might need a sweat-change

Because the church was only available August 17th.

6. The cake might melt

Again – August 17th. 

7. The DJ will almost definitely arrive late

And will blame traffic because… well, it’s totally legit. 

8. A friend will get drunk and make a scene

Because – why wouldn’t they?

9. Another friend will get drunk and get injured

Because no Maltese person knows how to rein it in on the dance floor.

10. Another one will get drunk because she’s eaten too little…

Where the f*ck are the vol-au-vents?!

11. The bride’s dad will cry

Because she blames him for not ordering enough food.

12. The bride’s mum will cry

Because her husband ruined her daughter’s wedding. #ĦexaKollox

13. Someone will hook up with someone inappropriate

Let’s just hope it’s not the bride or groom (totally possible).