7 People We All Bump Into When Christmas Shopping In Malta

It's a minefield of 'all-the-bests'

Tumblr Lgs89Kg Vtw1Qa8Kv4

Every year you promise yourself you'll get an early start on your Christmas shopping. You never do. As a result you'll be racing around Sliema and Valletta like a mad person in the run up to the big day.

If only it were as simple as a rushed last minute effort. Not in Malta. Your shopping-time is inevitably cut in half by all the stops you have to make to greet the tens of people you know that are also frantically spending all of December's wages on other people. 

Here's a list of people you're always going to meet in Malta whilst Christmas shopping – year in, year out.

1. Your ex

Yup, it's like the law of gravity – a reality that cannot be contested or denied. You will meet your ex and have to make five minutes of uncomfortable small talk while they buy cute, Christmas underwear for the new person in their life.

Giphy 16

2. Your old school teacher

Should I say hi, should I not say hi? Will she remember me? Was I even in her class?

Images

3. Your mum's friend who never shuts up

Yup, I really needed to know that Susan from next door has a rash and so you've got to fit in a pharmacy visit while you shop. Let. Me. Leave.

Tumblr Lzs012W Jgn1Qfcllf

4. The Facebook friend

You received a request last week and accepted, but you've never actually spoken in real life. How do I navigate through this social conundrum? Wave? Nod? Bite the bullet and speak words to this person? Someone please advise. 

01Ew Z8 F

5. Your frenemy

You stop for what you hope will be a quick hello but quickly turns into a competitive back-and-forth on who got the most expensive gift for their boyfriend/girlfriend.

Screen Shot 2016 12 12 At 13 06 06

6. Someone you never replied to on WhatsApp

Sweat patches form and you exercise your best "maa, this year has been mad!" speech. After at least ten minutes of small talk you broach the unbroachable and apologise by offering to meet for a coffee which you know you categorically don't have time for. 

4Gq R F Maxage 0

7. Your crush

And you're never prepared. Panic hits and you offer them a mince pie/chewing gum/socks – or whatever you can dig out of your shopping bag that will save you from this moment of colossal inarticulacy. 

Penelope Being Humble

BONUS: Someone you're actually glad to meet

A friend you haven't seen in ages and you've been dying to run into suddenly runs into you. Say goodbye to finding a perfect gift for your Secret Santa party tomorrow and hello to long boozy lunch.

Hummelberry Hug

Comments