7 Things Maltese Parents All Go Through When Taking Kids To The Beach

Remember when days by the beach were a relaxing experience? When you’d sip a cocktail, go in for a quick dip and just… chill? Remember when all that changed after you had kids?

If you’re a parent in Malta you know that going to the beach is no simple affair. Here are seven uncomfortably-relatable things every young family knows to be true.

1. Getting ready is a nightmare

You’ve got to pack enough toys to keep them entertained, enough water to keep them hydrated, food for snacks and lunch (don’t forget Sarah hates olives in her sandwich and Tom won’t eat anything if the cheese is too thick). Once packed they’ve got to be shoved into the car before you even dream of getting your kids into their swimsuits (which they will outright refuse to wear at least once a week).

2. They will bring home half the beach with them

From mountains of sand in your car and the shower to the endless collection of sea creatures they’ve stuffed into their swimsuits (which they’ll be all too happy to show you by shoving them into your face), there’s no leaving the beach without at least 20 souvenirs. 

3. They will jump from anything they shouldn’t

Remember that slipway you told them to avoid… well, they’re up there right now playing ċama ċama. Before long they’ll be trying to climb to the top of caves, or using the metal railings on the steps as a makeshift diving board. The higher they are, the happier they’ll be.

A lot of your day is spent explaining the basic concept of gravity and begging them to get down from high places.

4. Their bodies are magnets for sea-related pain

If there’s just one rizza on a mile-long beach, you can assume your child will find a way to step on it. If there’s just one jellyfish per million gallons, it will wash up onto your child’s shoulder. There is no escape, they are weird magnets for pain.

This all means adding 10 minutes to your prep time as you try find space for vinegar and tweezers in your beach bag.

5. You’re afraid of the sun, but more afraid of getting your kids to wear their sunblock

Somehow, it seems that kids are born with an innate hatred of protecting their skin from harmful rays. How many times have we had to lather a protesting kid with sunblock, only to end up leaving them looking like some post-modern art piece in white?

Suncreams like those made by Organii are the perfect counter to this. They’re the best solution for the sun protection saga, with an easy-to-apply formula that doesn’t leave white streaks. Its ingredients make it a mineral sunblock not a chemical one, which means it’s better for the skin and has an immediate effect whereas chemical sun blocks require 30 minutes after application before being effective.

It can also be used on children from birth, individuals with sensitive skin and skin conditions, it’s certified organic and vegan and gives UVA + UVB protection. All you need to do is re-apply it every couple of hours to make sure it continues to do its job.

6. You’re louder than they are, and a total broken record

“WHERE’S YOUR HAT?!”

“GET OUT NOW AND START DRYING!”

“STOP DUCKING YOUR BROTHER! THIS IS HOW HE DROWNS.”

7. You’d do it all again, every day of summer

There’s endless stress and hassles, but seeing how happy your kids are at the beach means you’ll do it over and over again, every single day of summer. Swimming is a part of our Maltese culture and getting to share that with your family makes all the screaming worth it.