Bored Of Roses And Dinner? Here’s How To Add A Buzz To Your Valentine’s Plans
Valentine’s Day is upon us once again and with it comes the usual clichés: roses, overpriced set menus and awkwardly dodging PDA from that one couple who insist on feeding each other pasta like they’re in Lady and the Tramp. If you’re tired of the same old routine, it’s time to shake things up—literally.
This year, let’s swap the traditional romance for something that will actually keep the spark alive (and possibly cause your neighbours to question the sudden surge in power usage). We’re talking about pleasure enhancers, bedroom games and gifts that won’t wilt in three days.
1. Skip the Dinner, Go Straight for Dessert (And We’re Not Talking About Cake)
Look, nothing wrong with a fancy meal, but let’s be real—by the time you’ve eaten your weight in risotto, you’ll be too bloated to even attempt romance. Instead, why not invest in a little something that guarantees satisfaction without the food coma?
PleasureMalta.com has plenty of options that will turn your night from meh to Mamma Mia! Whether you’re in a relationship, single or “it’s complicated,” there’s a toy for you.
- For couples looking to spice things up, the Imħabba u Nejk game is a must. It’s basically Maltese-style foreplay with a side of giggles. One card might have you whispering sweet nothings in your best tal-pepe accent, while another challenges you to get creative with whipped cream (proceed with caution if you have leather furniture).
- Flying solo? Try the 20-Speed Pink Silicone Rabbit Vibrator with Clitoral Sucking Stimulator—it knows exactly what it’s doing. Unlike your ex, it won’t leave you on read or pretend it doesn’t know where the clitoris is.
2. Roses Die. Rechargeable Vibrators Don’t.
Flowers are lovely… for a few days. Then, they turn into a sad, wilted mess that you forget to throw away until they smell like regret. Instead, why not gift your partner something that won’t wither away but will make them weak at the knees?
A 7-Speed Blue Rechargeable Classic Vibrator is the kind of present that benefits both of you, and let’s be honest—that’s the real meaning of Valentine’s Day: mutual satisfaction (and avoiding another year of bad socks and cheap perfume).
3. Champagne Is Nice, But Have You Tried a Remote-Control Toy?
Sure, a little bubbly sets the mood, but if you really want to make the night unforgettable, try a 10-Speed Purple Rechargeable Remote Control Vibrating Egg. Just imagine:
- You’re out at dinner.
- Your partner gives you the look.
- Suddenly, your phone buzzes. But wait—it’s not a text, it’s them controlling your pleasure from across the table.
Now that’s a Valentine’s Day dinner you won’t forget.
4. Forget Love Letters—Send a Naughty Voice Note Instead
Nothing says romance like a heartfelt message… but why not make it a little filthier? Instead of a generic “Happy Valentine’s, babe 
,” send your partner a message so spicy that their phone heats up (just make sure you don’t accidentally send it to the family group chat).
Or better yet, let them unwrap a Purple 10-Speed Waterproof Rechargeable Wand Massager and let the night take care of itself.
5. End the Night With a Happy Ending (Obviously)
Valentine’s doesn’t have to be predictable. Whether you’re playing a sexy couple’s game, experimenting with new sensations or simply upgrading your alone time, one thing’s for sure—you won’t be bored.
For the truly adventurous, why not explore something new? The BDSM Manager is perfect for couples who want to dip their toes (or go all in) into the world of playful dominance and submission. (Safe words optional, but recommended.)
So, ditch the wilted roses, the overpriced meals, and the uncomfortable lingerie (we both know it’s coming off in 10 minutes anyway). This year, give a gift that guarantees pleasure.
Check out PleasureMalta.com for all your Valentine’s needs—because love might be complicated, but orgasms shouldn’t be.