How To Plan For The Christmas Disasters You Know Will Happen
It’s standard – you think everything is in order for the Christmas events you’ve agreed to host and/or attend. You are serene, joyful even. Until it hits – a mere 48 hours before the event is due, a cascading shit-storm of crises comes closing in from all sides.
Tinkwetax. Yellow’s got you covered. Here’s a few potential disaster moments they could avert for you.
1. When you forget that red wine stain on your only gala-appropriate outfit
It’s bound to happen – you’re invited to a posh AF event and in your mind your outfit is all set. It’s only three days before when you decide to check if you still fit into it that you’re reminded of that wine Sarah spilled all over you.
Solution:
The 13 dry-cleaning companies listed on Yellow
2. When you realise you haven’t thought of where to leave your little one
You can’t leave poor Rex alone to bark the house down, not if you want your weekend to be free of your irate neighbour, Doris, calling you every five minutes.
Solution:
Yellow’s got a pet boarding section on their online search. Gold.
3. When you need to find the right turkey to show off your roasting skills
The only thing you need to do so is to buy the bird…
Solution:
Hopefully one of the 224 butcher shops listed on Yellow will be able to sort you out.
4. When you want to keep drunk Uncle Ronnie entertained
The annual dilemma – he’s already drunk and belligerent by dessert and the rest of the family are decidedly upset you haven’t figured out how to tame his inebriated chanting.
Solution:
Rent an arcade game, stick it in one of the rooms upstairs and Ronnie is happy (and quiet) all day.
5. When you realise your forgot to buy a gift for the mother-in-law
And she already hates me…
Solution:
It’s fine just get a voucher from one of the 24 spas listed on Yellow and you’ll become her instant fave.
6. When you just don’t have it in you to clean up Christmas lunch
You think to yourself after declining 50 “ejja ħa ngħinek tiżbarazza“s.
Solution:
Just Yellow it.
7. When Christmas is over and you think you’re all sorted for NYE
Wrong! You haven’t organised transport for you and your friend to and from that party like you said you would.
Solution:
It’s fine – Yellow lists a bunch of cab and taxi services.
8. When it’s actually over
Now I just have to stick to my resolutions and 2017 will be a breeze.
Solution:
Turn to the Diet & Health Foods section on Yellow. At least until February.