Beauty Rituals All Maltese Women Do But Don’t Talk About

You've been there...


Between the manicures and the quasi-magnetic attraction to every makeup stand you walk past, beauty standards are hefty work and constant upkeep takes it out of you. We're here for you though, through the good, the bad, and the downright weird beauty rituals all Maltese women secretly subscribe to. 

1. Examining a satisfyingly long ingrown hair

You know that one little lump that you've been itching to dig at for the last few days? You've finally done it: lump's gone, hair's out, and the universe is righted once again. 

2. Checking your nostrils in the mirror for stray boogers

Nothing quite kills the mood like some lone snot waving out at the world like a red flag. 

3. Waxing and shaving in all its glory

Spoiler alert: women have body hair too. Waxing hurts like hell. And no pain no gain... right?

4. Pedicures on the loo

Killing two birds with one bathroom-shaped stone saves time. 

5. De-sanding your nether region after a long day at the beach

The quintessential sandy beach problem, with love from every Maltese summer ever. 

6. Popping zits is therapeutic

Nothing quite as satisfying as watching Mount Acne in the middle of your forehead getting popped against the mirror. 

7. Dry shampoo

Possibly the greatest invention known to womankind. Never again will you know the limits to which we go to avoid washing our hair thanks to this gem. 

8. Deodorising your clothes with perfume

Airing your cigarette smoke-laden sweater from last night's Paceville bonanza is overrated anyway; nothing a few spritzes of whatever perfume happens to be within arm's reach won't fix. 

9. Sanding your feet down

Bye bye callouses, hello raw shiny new skin and mounds of dead skin cells on the floor. And if you're getting treated to a diamond-encrusted Scholl's Velvet Smooth Express Pedi, then yasss please. 

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