11 Classic Maltese Morning Rituals We All Know Too Well

Is there a limit on how many times I can hit snooze?


Mornings – everyone around the world has them, but only about 400,000 people get to experience the un-joys of a Maltese AM. 

Here's some staple scenarios that invariably occur in a Maltese household once dawn breaks. 

1. Being awoken by the great outdoors

And by great outdoors we mean – jackhammer, bulldozer, gas truck, belligerent driver, gossiping neighbour... should we go on?

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2. Snoozing till way past what you can afford so you won't have to speak to your parents

I've been able to choose my own clothes since I was 27 years old, Ma. Ħallini

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3. And then realising they've left without making you tea

Ħudni l-Orsolini mal-ewwel. 

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4. Praying that your brother / sister hasn't finished the hot water

Damn our tiny geyser!

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5. Wondering how many layers you need to wear to feel warm

Until you step out of the house and you're sweating...

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6. And why your hair and make-up is perfect...

But only till you reach your car. #RiħIsfel

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7. Realising you forgot to take the garbage out before leaving the house

And it's been three days since you threw away your leftover lampuki

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8. Trying to avoid your neighbour who's waiting behind their door to hear your footsteps

"Ara Doris, kemm illi ma nark!". Translation: I've been avoiding you like the plague.

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9. Driving for half an hour in traffic, then realising you forgot your lunch

Which you spend all evening planning for yesterday, and you know your ħobż biż-żejt will be way too soggy to eat tonight. 

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10. Giggling to Oz & Jay's bromance banter

Thank you for being the silver lining to this otherwise soul-destructive traffic jam, XFM 100.2.

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11. Celebrating the fact that you don't have a puncture

With Malta's roads, it's a 50/50 bet every day.

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Written By

Ann Dingli

Ann Dingli writes mostly about art and design. She enjoys friendly debates and has accepted that she's a small person.