Malta – the island of tranquility, good weather, and sturdy limestone homes.
Or is it?
Judging by the number of times a day you nearly shit yourself because you think your house might be destroyed for any number of reasons, that definition becomes somewhat questionable. The good news is that all it really takes to keep our underwear in order is a spot of insurance. Here’s a few reasons why it makes all the sense to protect your home in Malta.
1. The unmitigated rain
It’s September – there’s no reason why the equivalent of the Genesis flood should take place today. But it does. And your windows are all open.
2. The mini-tornados
You know you’ve heard them howling on your doorstep at night (and seen them in the 200 posts on Facebook the morning after).
3. The eternal fire hazard
Because Sarah is physically incapable of turning off her straightening irons.
4. Did we mention fire hazard?
There is literally no part of your brain that can recall whether or not you left the iron on.
5. The probable gas leak
Because no way will you switch gas for an electric hob. #matarax
6. The plague-like mould
Because all the dehumidifiers in the world won’t save your house from certain death by moffa.
7. The human liabilities
When you agreed to take Nanna in you also agreed to the probability that she would leave the stove on… eternally.
8. The human-hating windows
Single-glazed with old latches that are impossible to actually use. Cue instantly shattered windows the moment there’s a gust of wind.
9. The very plausible roof collapse
If it’s happened once…