There are very few jobs out there that are safe from the hilarious (and sometimes painful) reach of stereotypes and over-generalisations. If you speak to accountants in Malta, they’ll be very quick to agree.
Here are 11 things to stop telling accountants in Malta… because God knows they’re fed up of hearing them.
1. “Ah you’re an accountant? Mela you have a very good wage for sure”
Possibly the most popular (and annoying) things constantly thrown accountants’ way.
I literally just graduated. No, I’m not the Wolf of Republic Street.
2. “Ok, so here’s the bill. We’re 17 people. How much do we each need to fork out?”
Oh, for a second there I forgot I’m a human calculator.
Allow me to perfectly divide any number to the exact decimal point all whilst figuring out what Sarah owes because she didn’t drink wine, that’s all I came to this restaurant to do after all.
3. “Hey, I know it’s 11pm on a Sunday, but… “
Sure, go ahead. It’s not like normal work hours apply to us anyway.
Silly me for thinking I should have the basic concept of holidays and time off. I’m sure whatever you’re asking couldn’t have waited a couple of hours until Monday morning.
4. “Did you pick a calculator for your Quċċija?”
Do you also think I was born with “the gift” and spent most of my childhood crunching up my Teddy’s income and trying to find a more viable way for him to spend less during playtime?
5. “You must be so unfit just sitting on your ass all day!”
Ah yes, because accountants have the only desk job on the planet.
I’m probably going to lose my will to walk any second now, just you wait.
6. “Can you open a Panama account?
Wouldn’t you know; not each and every accountant out there makes a living helping people lie, cheat, or get out of paying their taxes.
7. “You work in accounts? I was never good with numbers istra”
Yes, because my entire job is just additions and subtractions.
I was never particularly good with writing essays myself, and yet here I am speaking to you. Funny world, huh?
8. All your friends:
“Can you help me with my TAX return?”
I mean, yes.
But it’s not super difficult. And there are even detailed explainers online.
And you know… I normally get paid for this.
9. All your friends:
“Can you help me with my VAT return?”
Same. As. Above.
10. “But isn’t your job, like… boring?”
Allow me to let you in on a little secret.
If you don’t understand something, or lack the passion to follow it as a profession, that’s going to instantly make it look boring.
That doesn’t mean it is, and other people may find different things to be boring. Like, say, your own job.
See? Mind. Blown.
11. “Is there any way I’m paying too much, and the Government actually owes me?”
BONUS: “Isma, quick question… “
We both know what that means.
You basically want free advice. Again. Because it’s “just numbers” after all.