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‘Men Asked Me For Milk While I Was Nursing’: Maltese Woman Recounts Series Of Harassment Stories

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Over the last few weeks, many have felt comfortable coming forward and recounting their own experiences with harassment on the island of Malta.

This comes following the shocking news of the brutal rape and murder of Paulina Dembska, which has enabled a nationwide discussion on the matter, with many individuals coming forward to share their experiences, and many women appealing for more police patrols.

One of the women to come forward (who wished to stay anonymous) has recounted a series of harassment experienced during day-to-day life – even being asked for milk by random men on the streets while she was nursing her baby. 

The woman admitted that although the recent discussion following Paulina’s murder has proved to be very triggering to her, she still wanted to share her experiences so that light can be shed on “the atrocities that women have to go through on a daily basis”.

She recounted a series of stories, that all occurred within public environments and places that people frequent daily – in order words, cannot be avoided – ranging from the young age of 12-years-old to being catcalled while pregnant with her children years later.

1. Broad daylight walking to a friend’s house

“I was simply walking to a friend’s house in broad daylight. Men honking and stopping their cars, harassing me.”

“Ignoring them only to be called ‘qaħba and told ‘foxx pajjiżek‘ because they thought I was a foreigner.”

2. On the bus stop at 12-years-old

“It was Summer, and I was waiting on the bus stop next to exiles when a 60-year-old Italian man stopped to ‘admire me’, as he put it.”

“I felt like he stripped me with his gaze. I felt so uncomfortable, as you can well imagine. As soon as I arrived home I cut the dress into several pieces and threw it away. Thought I was asking for it.” 

3. On the bus

“Countless of times on the bus –  the disgusting things that drivers told me simply because I was mistaken as a foreigner.”

“And it was always followed by ‘eeee maltija int’. Not to mention the school van. I remember being so scared when the driver used to choose another route, leaving me for last.”

4. Physical harassment at Paceville

I remember an Arab man had grabbed my breast as I was waiting for my mum to pick me up at Paceville at around 11pm.”

“I was 17. He was the first man ever to touch me. How sad.”

5. Watching her mum being treated inappropriately

“My mom was touched and spoken to inappropriately by a much younger doctor on her collarbone. In front of me and other staff. I can still picture the smirk on his face. Never had I seen my mum so visibly uncomfortable. She’s a fearless woman, but at that moment she froze.

“Afterwards, she told me to stay quiet and not say anything because she feared it would affect her position at work. “

6. Street harassment while pregnant/nursing

“Two kids later and happily married, you’d think that these things would stop. Nah. When I was pregnant, I had men checking out my ass.

“Then I had men catcalling me asking for milk while I nursed my baby.” 

7. Teaching practice at a school

“I am a PSD teacher. Back when I was still doing my teaching practice, at a public boys school, a colleague used to harass me. All muscle. Typical jock. He used to leave a banana on my desk.”

“I was a very quiet shy girl. I never said anything. All staff members used to see this and no one did anything. Until one day he told me to “get on my knees, and you’ll enjoy it”. 

“At first, I genuinely didn’t get it, until I saw the dirty look on his face. I yelled and slammed my hands on the desk and told him that I will be reporting if he were to ever address me like that again. He never did.”

“And to this day I still wish that I did not give him a second chance and reported him instantly.”

The stories recounted all occurred within normal everyday environments, which definitely cannot be avoided, even if one tries to. No one should experience feeling threatened while they are out getting on with their daily lives, doing mundane everyday activities, and no one should feel unsafe while doing so.

We need to start giving importance to these experiences, not only when they reach the point of no return. 

Have you ever experienced anything similar? Send over your story to [email protected] if you are interested in speaking about it – full confidentiality assured 

If you would like to reach out to authorities please reach out to Victim Support Malta at [email protected].

Have you had similar experiences?

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Sasha is a writer, creator, and podcast host interested in environmental matters, humans, and art. Some know her as Sasha tas-Sigar. Inspired by nature and the changing world. Follow her on Instagram at @saaxhaa and send her your stories at [email protected]

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