WATCH: 7 Of Malta's Best Fights Caught On Tape
Also features some important lessons on the more colourful side of the Maltese language.
You can try to deny it, but deep down you know you enjoy watching videos of hilarious fights on Youtube. As a nation, Malta also brings a little something extra to each clip (be it the crass language or that tiny spark that makes the whole thing so quintessentially Maltese).
These seven videos will one day stop entertaining us; but that day is not today, so for now enjoy watching them on loop:
1. Cleaning out the trash
The sandals in hand and LIDL bag on shoulder cement this as an iconic Maltese moment, but when one of the women pulls out a broomstick to clean out the trash, that is when shit gets good.
2. An memorable bus ride
This argument on a Maltese bus is great for many things; most noticeably the poor husband who's hating every second of it. This video pretty much sums up what it's like to be on almost every bus ride ever.
3. A not so peaceful protest
Something that started as a peaceful protest turned into a very uncoordinated fight between a couple of Maltese 'alpha males'. Boasting both flamboyant flailing arms and the involvement of elderly men, this fight is one sweaty (and, as expected, shirtless) mess.
4. No chill for the wicked
A true Maltese gem. These two women ended up swearing rather profusely, but somehow manage to avoid broom-bashing, so good on them! The stream of profanities is so effortless that you can't help but appreciate the skill.
5. Nations that aren't so united
The whole video is amazing from start to finish, but the Maltese guy driving off to a safe distance, stopping the car, getting out and yelling (in a thick Maltese accent): "Fuck your grandmother, asshole bitch." takes the cake. The American guy pulling off his shirt and chasing the car is also quite a classic moment.
6. Doing them planks
Five men giving their all during a fight in the middle of the street - what more could you want? But what makes this fight even more special is the one guy who arms himself and runs down the road with a plank of wood in hand ready to beat anyone who comes in his way.
7. We don't share our pizza
Never get in the way of a Maltese person when they're hungry and drunk. This brawl took place at Paceville at a pizza stop, and there's so much going on, it's hard to decide who to focus on.
Bonus: The show can't go on
During her song 2013 performance at Isle of MTV, Jessie J actually stopped the music to interrupt a fight that had started right in front of her. There is no footage of the actual fight, but Jessie's inspiring speech about how music should bring people together, caused cheers to roar through the crowd, and made us all realise that, damn - we really need to chill out.