Many of us aren’t bestowed with the gift of dance, but that certainly won’t stop us from having a good time. Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to look like you know exactly what you’re doing, even when you’ve got two left feet.
1. The ‘Gurl, I look good’
This must be the first thing you do when you enter a club. You’ve spent the past two hours getting ready, time to strut in confidently, bop your head, and flip your hair.
2. The ‘Someone bought me a drink’
Time for a happy dance. If you randomly get a free drink from someone, be sure to look your happiest, and swing your arms dramatically, just not with the drink in your hands.
3. The ‘I’m too young to be let into a club’
This one is for all those fifteen-year-olds trying to get into Havana. Don’t let anything stop your inner dance party.
4. The ‘There’s someone I don’t like… better run away in style’
The running man might not help you gain any distance, but it surely gets the message across.
5. The ‘Low low low low low low low low’
It will most likely be done in a group, and will definitely be carried out at some point during the night. If you hear Flo Rida, get ready to squat.
6. The ‘Group Number’
This one takes some prep work, but is totally worth it. Pick a song and choreograph it with your friends. By choreograph we mean choose five hand gestures you can learn in time with the beat, and not fuck up when you’re totally wasted. It’ll still look cool, trust us.
7. The ‘I’ll try to look sexy even though I’m quite tipsy’
This must be done when there is a substantial amount of alcohol already in your system. If you see someone you are even remotely attracted to, you thrust as hard as you can and hope you look appealing. If Beyonce can do it…
8. The ‘I can’t think of any more dance moves, so I’ll just clap along’
Channel every Maltese person who’s ever been on a plane when it’s landed and clap the night away.
9. The ‘I’m too tired to move, but I’ll try to play along’
The night’s coming to an end, you just want to sleep, but your friends still have the energy to keep dancing. So you get up, look bored, and wiggle your arms a little in an effort to look alive.
10. The ‘Let Me Shake Off The Alcohol’
Before leaving to catch a taxi, the best thing to do is to dance to sober up and get the alcohol out of your system, so you won’t look completely hammered by the time you get home.
11. The ‘I’m too drunk to care’
This is the best time to dance, cos you wouldn’t care what you’re doing, and no one will judge your hot mess of waving arms and flailing legs. Who knows, these may turn out to be the best dance moves of your life.