9 People You Meet At Your Local Festa

Glimpsing into the wild side of the Maltese nation

Festa

To the dismay of all those who drive, festi dominate the scene every summer in Malta. During these celebrations of faith, and some other less religious things, a diverse range of characters gather to honour their patrun/patruna, all in their own unique way. 

1. The one who’s drunk at 10AM

Aladdin

Before literally anyone has started celebrating, this guy is already passed out on the sidewalk, not giving a shit that he’s about to miss the marċ.

2. The kids who are there for the toys and the candy floss

Get The Candy

Not really caring about what is actually going on, these children just want to beg their mothers to buy them the most ratchet looking toy, and get a sugar high off the cotton candy. 

3. The vendor who doesn’t really want to be there

Bored Kid

Standing next to their stall with pieces of qubbajt on a paper plate for people to taste, these vendors look like they’re so over this, and just want to be home and sleep.

4. The morally torn Kappillan

Pray

Obligated to be there, the Kappillan seems proud that the feast is a success, but fears what it has become.

5. The devoted elderly

Sue Sylvester

Clapping along to the band’s music, these grandmas and grandpas tend to remain calm amongst the surrounding chaos. They look up at the statue with pride and dignity, and tell stories about how their patruna had once worked a miracle on them due to their unwavering faith.

6. Tourists who didn’t expect this to be so intense

Britney Spears Confused

Sporting their fisherman’s hat and sunscreen lathered faces, these tourists seem more lost than they otherwise would be in any other scenario. Caught in the middle of a chanting crowd, they seem like they’re rethinking all their life choices.

7. The ones who swear at the statue

Friends Swear

These devoted ‘civilised’ citizens prefer to spend their festa blurting out a curse every time they set eyes on their beloved statue.  

8. The ones who don’t care about the festa and just wanted to meet their friends

Deep Sigh

Having no clue what all the rage about festi is about, these people meet their friends at the pjazza and spend a night upset and feeling out of place. 

9. The young fanatics

Jump

Painted from head to toe with their village feast’s colours, these adolescents know all the words and shout along to all the marċi, defend their każin with a passion, and are the ones who will eventually keep the tradition alive.

Which of these people have you met at your festa? Tell us on Facebook, or send us a Snap!

READ NEXT: WATCH: Videos Of Maltese Statues Falling Over 

Written By

Kurt Abela

Being just a few inches over five feet, Kurt indulges in writing existential songs, fixing his hair, and cuddling cats.

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