9 Things That Always Happen When The Maltese Drink Wine

"No vera, I only had two glasses ta!"

Wine Dispenser

As a nation we're known for enjoying a drink or two (or twenty). Besides endless beers at the kazin and tray upon trays of Paceville shots, we're also quite partial to a good glass of wine.

But every time a bottle is popped open, there's a couple of phrases you're always bound to hear.

1. Someone decides they're experts and insists on "nothing local ta. As if, I don't like Maltese wine."

€4 wine from France is still shit wine Sarah.

Box Wine Gif

2. Someone will mess up the order once you've all finally agreed 

"Ma no I can't drink red. I forget it always makes me sleepy! If that I'll just get a glass on my own."

Red Annoyed

3. You'll be asked what you think about the wine, so you panic-laugh and just comment something about how "it's dry aye?"

"Ha ha ha, I love the... flavours and body?"

Panic Wine

4. Someone will announce their love for a totally unrelated wine, thinking it's what they're drinking

"I love Glich! Ghax qisu, it's super easy to drink you know?" 

Wine Big

5. Someone will knock over a glass, and everyone will turn into Martha Stewart-Macgyver 

"You spilled? Just throw some white wine on it" Thanks Sarah, what an innovative contribution to the situation.

Happy Wine

6. Your friend who's been slurring their words for 30 minutes will shyly announce "nahseb hadni naqa..."

Schumer Wine

7. After which they'll start fanning themselves cause "telatli fawra madoff!"

Angry Wine

8. You find yourself covering your mouth to speak cause you're worried about your stained teeth

Mariah Mouth

9. And no matter how much you actually drank you've always had "only two glasses ta!"

Two Glasses

Bonus: When you're caught without a corkscrew, one friend will always say "I saw this video on Facebook where you can open it with a shoe."

No Sarah, you fucking can't.


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READ NEXT: 7 'Subtle' Ways Your Maltese Family Calls You Fat

Written By

Chucky Bartolo

If there's no Mariah Carey GIF or reference to Eurovision in this article, just assume they've been edited out against my will.