7 Maltese-Themed Video Games That Need To Exist

Coming to a Plejstejxin Store near you!

Malta Co D

A while back we ran an article about how things would need to change if GTA were set in Malta. That's all well and good, but why bother customising a current game, when we can go all out and create our own? Here are some ideas that we just need to see come to life:

1. Fish Farmville

Fish Farm

Now this will definitely get mothers off of Farmville once and for all. Promising everything you've come to "love" about the social network simulation game from yesteryear, Fish Farmville will be far more locally-relevant than tending to elephants, reindeers and goats (even though the latter are actually on the rise in Gozo, to the surprise of perhaps no one). Also, you could live out your inner superhero fantasises of virtually doing something about that sea-slime.

2. Bus Waiting Simulator 2017

84 Years

The premise for this one is pretty easy; you sit on a virtual bench and wait for the bus to arrive. An endurance challenge that you can take online, where hundreds of people sit next to each other and the last person alive wins.

3. Theme Gentlemen's Club

Make It Rain

Remember Theme Hospital? Theme Park? SimCity? Imagine having an iteration of that where the primary objective of the game is to take over the entirety of Paceville and fill it with your gentlemen's club. For when you want that extra piece of realism in your games.

4. The VR Montekristo Zoo Experience

Lion Cub Stroke

The future of gaming is in Virtual Reality. The VR Montekristo Zoo Experience promises to immerse users into a world of exotic animals without the potential danger of being jumped by a lioness. 

5. Festa Fever Fighter V

Drunk Fight

A retro Street Fighter-esque beat 'em up game where players have to fight each other while multitasking singing popular marċi songs, jumping on the spot and drinking pints of Skol. Perfect for either group fights or sorting out personal family issues.

6. Krejn & Tawer Parkuwr

Crane Parkour

Games like Mirror's Edge have already introduced the people to the exhilarating (and terrifying world) of parkour, but it would be a sin not to capitalize on that and release a Maltese iteration. Besides, with all the cranes everywhere you look and the towers that are set to be constructed in Paceville, Mriehel and Sliema in the coming years, this VR experience would have breathtaking challenges galore.

7. Power 2D People


A 2D Platformer which lets you reenact the best moments of the Maltese people standing up for their rights and starting a mini-revolution. Includes not only historical episodes like the French Occupation of 1798-1800, but also more importantly recent episodes of anti-establishment sentiment. Also includes bonus missions where you need to break into closed-off islands and claim back what is rightfully yours.

What other games can you think of that will be based in Malta? Let us know in the comments on Facebook.

READ NEXT: Which Maltese Pokemon Trainer Are YOU?

Written By

David Grech Urpani

Sarcastically ironic, Dave is a recovering hipster musician with a penchant for chicken, women's clothes and Kanye.