Things To Stop Telling Maltese People When They’re On Holiday
Seriously, I'm here to relax.
It’s mostly great being a Maltese person abroad. You get to be the person from that obscure Mediterranean haven with 300+ days of sunshine. You’re more attractive, more quirky, and generally more interesting when you are off-rock.
BUT, there are some setbacks. People will invariably ask things that are annoying, if harmless.
Here’s what we wish they would stop saying:
1. Wow you’re from Malta?! Is that in Italy?
No thanks. We’re a whole country.
2. OMG you’re from Malta? Why would you ever want to leave?
You’re right. My office is actually on the beach I don’t really know why I’m wasting money on this holiday.
3. So do you speak Spanish?
No, because I’m Maltese, not Spanish.
4. Are you tired? Must be time for your siesta!
Again, not Spanish. (But I do enjoy a light nap in the afternoon most days. So, yes. It must be that time.)
5. You should stock up on some goodies before you go back!
Listen – anything you have PAMA has more of…
6. OMG your English is amazing. Can’t believe it’s your second language!
7. Is everyone in Malta tiny like you?
Fuck you. And yes. Mostly, yes.
8. Why do you sound Welsh?
No idea. Wales isn’t even close to Spain/Italy.