Things To Stop Telling Maltese People When They’re On Holiday

Seriously, I'm here to relax.

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It’s mostly great being a Maltese person abroad. You get to be the person from that obscure Mediterranean haven with 300+ days of sunshine. You’re more attractive, more quirky, and  generally more interesting when you are off-rock.

BUT, there are some setbacks. People will invariably ask things that are annoying, if harmless. 

Here’s what we wish they would stop saying:

1. Wow you’re from Malta?! Is that in Italy?

No thanks. We’re a whole country. 


2. OMG you’re from Malta? Why would you ever want to leave?

You’re right. My office is actually on the beach I don’t really know why I’m wasting money on this holiday.

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3. So do you speak Spanish?

No, because I’m Maltese, not Spanish.

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4. Are you tired? Must be time for your siesta!

Again, not Spanish. (But I do enjoy a light nap in the afternoon most days. So, yes. It must be that time.)

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5. You should stock up on some goodies before you go back!

Listen – anything you have PAMA has more of…


6. OMG your English is amazing. Can’t believe it’s your second language!

It’s not.

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7. Is everyone in Malta tiny like you?

Fuck you. And yes. Mostly, yes.

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8. Why do you sound Welsh?

No idea. Wales isn’t even close to Spain/Italy.

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Have we left any out? Tag a friend you know hates annoying Maltese-tourist questions.

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