Things That Would Happen If Malta Had ‘The Purge’
True to our Mediterranean nature, many Maltese people respect the law, they just don’t always feel it applies to them directly. But what if we were forced to lead completely lawful lives, only to completely let loose one day a year?
1. Hugo’s and Eden would compete to monetise it
Jumping on the chance to provide their (paying) clients with the chance to purge in total comfort and safety, Hugo’s and Eden would build the ultimate luxury purge-suites – with all the soundproofing one could possibly require.
2. Rape would increase because the morning after pill would be legal
If the ladies over at “Women for Life” are right about their claims, then having the morning after pill being legal for one night would ‘encourage rape and abusive behavior’.
3. Daphne and Glenn would find themselves seated next to each other on the last Ryanair flight out
Let’s be real here, these two bloggers know that on a night where anything is legal, staying would get pretty dangerous, pretty fast.
4. LIDL would be totally ransacked
We’ve seen what happens outside LIDL when they were selling BBQs, can you imagine if everything was free?
5. The new Parliament building would be reconstructed
They’d need to build an entire padded bunker beneath the floor to hide all Maltese MPs from the hoards of angry constituents from around the island. It may also include a party-dividing line, to avoid any awkward subterranean encounters.
6. A Revenge-porn Renaissance would occur
A while back Malta was plagued with the disgusting practice of nude-swapping. Thankfully the authorities cracked down hard on this, but the photo trades may resume once more.
7. Traffic would… not change at all
Seriously though, it’s not like anyone actually follows the rules of the road.