Things That Would Happen If Malta Had 'The Purge'

Well, that's an uneasy thought!

Maltas Purge

True to our Mediterranean nature, many Maltese people respect the law, they just don't always feel it applies to them directly. But what if we were forced to lead completely lawful lives, only to completely let loose one day a year?

1. Hugo's and Eden would compete to monetise it

Purge 1

Jumping on the chance to provide their (paying) clients with the chance to purge in total comfort and safety, Hugo's and Eden would build the ultimate luxury purge-suites - with all the soundproofing one could possibly require.

2. Rape would increase because the morning after pill would be legal

Nene Awks

If the ladies over at "Women for Life" are right about their claims, then having the morning after pill being legal for one night would 'encourage rape and abusive behavior'.

3. Daphne and Glenn would find themselves seated next to each other on the last Ryanair flight out

Troye Awks

Let's be real here, these two bloggers know that on a night where anything is legal, staying would get pretty dangerous, pretty fast.

4. LIDL would be totally ransacked

Lidl Gif

We've seen what happens outside LIDL when they were selling BBQs, can you imagine if everything was free?

5. The new Parliament building would be reconstructed

Dog Hole

They'd need to build an entire padded bunker beneath the floor to hide all Maltese MPs from the hoards of angry constituents from around the island. It may also include a party-dividing line, to avoid any awkward subterranean encounters.

6. A Revenge-porn Renaissance would occur 

Sherlock Phone

A while back Malta was plagued with the disgusting practice of nude-swapping. Thankfully the authorities cracked down hard on this, but the photo trades may resume once more. 

7. Traffic would... not change at all


Seriously though, it's not like anyone actually follows the rules of the road.

How would you survive Malta's purge? Tag a friend who's got your back and tell how you'd make it through the night!

READ NEXT: 7 'Subtle' Ways Your Maltese Family Calls You Fat

Written By

Chucky Bartolo

If there's no Mariah Carey GIF or reference to Eurovision in this article, just assume they've been edited out against my will.