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6 Ways To Instantly Spot A Tourist In A Maltese Crowd

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If there’s one thing Malta does on a daily basis, it’s cater for tourists. However, there are times when we can pick out a foreigner in a crowd just by a quirky thing they’re doing.

We’ve compiled a list of things we’ve noticed a few of our foreign friends doing, or thinking is a good idea. If you’re a local you know what we’re talking about… if you’re a tourist, grab a pen and pencil to take down some notes on things to avoid.

1. Thinking that walking in summer is a good idea

They got here, took one look at our beautiful island, and laughed with their friends while saying “Oh how small! This is perfect, we’ll walk around everywhere!”

But now it’s our turn to laugh, as we pass by them in our air conditioned cars. The scorching heat covers their bodies with sweat, while we sense the dehydration off them.

Sure, walking is healthy, and awesome, but walking in this heat is not a good idea. Sometimes, even being outside isn’t even a good idea.

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2. Thinking that visiting a strip club is a good idea

Without a doubt, many of the tourists coming to Malta come for our super nightlife.

As many of us are noticing, more and more strip club workers promote their clubs out on the streets, offering tokens and pulling in anyone who stumbles close enough into their club.

Spending time here instead of that one small, cheap haunt locals love just around the corner is a bad idea for your wallet, and most foreigners are going to find that out the hard way.

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3. Forgetting the sunblock… and becoming red in the process

Every Maltese person knows that if you’re spending the day out in the sun, you’re taking your sunblock with you.

Forgetting the ‘block at home is unacceptable. Throw away your ID card, burn your passport, and start driving on the right side of the road. You’ll never be one of us.

And if that wasn’t enough indication, we’ll instantly spot you once you become a giant, walking lobster.

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4. Walking around the promenade in their bikini

Almost impossible to be done by any self-respecting Maltese citizen.

Sure, the foreigners don’t know any better. The proximity between the sea, the housing, and the front can be confusing.

Also, walking around in wet bathing costumes… Did they pee their pants? Did they suddenly start lactating while walking on the front? They didn’t have the patience to wait and dry?


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5. Thinking that swimming in winter is a good idea

“Come on, you live on an island in the middle of the Mediterranean. How cold can it get?”

Fools. Just because our weather is hotter than yours, it doesn’t mean that swimming in the middle of winter is a good idea.


6. Following the timeline on the bus terminus

If you think waking up early and planning to the schedule of the busses is going to help, thing again.

Maltese public transport is this reality’s version of Gandalf; the busses are never late, nor are they early – they arrive precisely when they mean to.

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Are there any tourist quirks you’ve noticed? Let us know in the comments below

READ NEXT: 8 Places All Tourists Flock To In Malta

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