9 Ways Malta Makes Your Hangover A Living Nightmare
When listing all the fun things about going out for drinks with friends, hangovers the next morning rank pretty low on the list.
While nobody can claim to enjoy throbbing headaches, we can’t help but feel like our little island goes out of its way to make them harder to deal with. Here’s nine reasons why.
1. Good morning, here’s a jackhammer
Everyone loves loud noises after a heavy night, right?
There’s no escaping construction here, and in Malta everything runs a little late – except the person drilling right about your head at 7am.
2. Sweaty? Here’s a burning ray across your face
Some people are woken by the loves of their lives with breakfast in bed and a kiss on the head.
Others are burned by the ray of light that tears through the gap in your curtains and inevitably lands squarely on your face.
3. Struggling to function? Here’s a face full of dust
Moments after plucking up the courage to step outside, nothing kicks your day into the right gear like a heavy lungful of construction waste.
Because what you really want on a day like this is trouble with the basics… including breathing.
4. Feeling clammy? Here’s deadlock traffic to make sure you have a full-on breakdown
Normally, you’d get angry.
Today, you’re just ready to have a full breakdown at the wheel and give up before the day even started.
5. Anxiety? Five clients have called before 8am
The one day you’re already paranoid about what you may have said or done the night before is also the morning you’ve missed five calls from a big client.
You heard the phone ringing earlier, but damnit, you needed the extra 15 minutes with your eyes closed.
6. Coworkers don’t understand volume control
It’s a known fact that Maltese people are notoriously loud, even when we’re sure we’re whispering.
This fact is made infinitely more pronounced when every decibel they go up in excitement feels like a personal attack.
7. Dehydrated? Here’s even more salt on your food
It’s already hard enough to keep food down, but when the only thing available is out to make you feel even more stretched thin than you are – painful.
8. Going home to rest? Hello traffic again
Finally, after a day of pottering about trying to look like a productive member of society, you’ve earned the right to go home and have a quick nap to sleep it all off.
Well, at least you will in around one/one-and-a-half hours when you finally get through round two of traffic.
9. Never again? You have drinks planned tonight and tomorrow
You swear you’ll never do this to yourself again – but maintaining a basic social life in Malta means that abstinence has to be put on hold.
Maybe you’ll stop tomorrow, after Bettina’s birthday drinks. Ah shit, no! You have John’s ka?inata on Thursday too. And then it’s the weekend…