NSFW: Is This The Most Savage Maltese Man On Facebook?

Rating Mario Vella's brutally hilarious statuses, once and for all

Lm Cover Hole In The Wall 2 34

Mario Vella has enjoyed his fair share of the limelight in the last decade. It started with musical project Lumière, before shifting to the alternative behemoths that are Brikkuni (who are all set to launch their new album later this year). 

Mario is a man whose reputation precedes him, and over the years he has amassed a certain love-hate notoriety on this island. Since he's pretty much taken down most of the country's inhabitants and has made all his thoughts extremely public, we've decided to bring you the top ten brutally honest (and kinda hilarious) posts from his Facebook page.

10. Meryl who?

Screen Shot 2017 01 10 At 12 55 16

Meryl Streep threw some serious shade Trump's way at the 2017 Golden Globes, and of course the internet went wild. While a lot of people praised her acceptance speech, not everyone took kindly to certain implications surrounding the whole situation, and of course Mario Vella isn't a man to shy away from making sure everyone knows exactly what his thoughts on a situation are. 

9. Enough spin-offs already

15978689 10211684367334752 309370843 N

We already had to sit through three meh Hobbits, and now we're expected to endure five Harry Potter spin-offs?! Tell 'em Mario!

8. All boobs are wonderful boobs


Ladies, don't be too conscious of your bodies. You're beautiful just the way you are. Hey, apparently MV can also be uplifting!

7. Dicks with bowties should be a thing

Screen Shot 2017 01 10 At 13 09 17

Mario's first status for 2017 kicked things off beautifully. One comment sarcastically said there's a Loving Malta story being written about the status, so we're quite happy that the prophecy has now been fulfilled. 

6. Ain't nobody got time for the Azure Window!

Screen Shot 2017 01 10 At 12 55 58

Well, he does have a point about everyone talking about the Azure Window over the last couple of months (guilty as charged). We just wonder which of the proposed new names Mario would choose to start calling it after it's collapsed??

5. Nessun dorma


Have you ever realised how Joseph Calleja is pretty much everywhere? Well, Mario has, and he's making it a point to let everyone know that a week without Calleja is quite worrying.

4. An anti-Eurovision status. Is anyone surprised?

15978795 10211684367294751 1886676126 N

Even if pretty much everyone in Malta posts something about the Eurovision, especially when we fail to get a good result, Mario still manages to go one step further. 

Plus, it's good to know that somewhere out there, Mr. Pezza Kwistjoni is sitting down smiling, even if for a second.

3. That time he brutally took down Jason Azzopardi

15970317 10211684367254750 908308506 N

Actually, that's putting it mildly. There's brutal takedowns, then there's that. 

2. The notorious Michelle Muscat episode


While Mario Vella's brutally honest statuses have been going for years, this status from last summer is what really shot him to viral notoriety with people who had somehow never heard of either him or Brikkuni. You've probably already heard about this, so we'll just let it simmer here...

1. That's one way of contributing to the argument on abortion...

15978129 10211684367174748 2133843365 N

As brutal as they get - not one person in Malta is safe!

BONUS: New Year, Same Old Marju

Screen Shot 2017 01 10 At 12 56 42

Don't worry - Mario's brutal statuses don't seem to be going anywhere in 2017!

Tag your most savage friend, and show us what they've got on Facebook!

READ NEXT: 11 Maltese Dad-Jokes That Will Make You Laugh And Cringe