NSFW: Is This The Most Savage Maltese Man On Facebook?
Rating Mario Vella's brutally hilarious statuses, once and for all
Mario Vella has enjoyed his fair share of the limelight in the last decade. It started with musical project Lumière, before shifting to the alternative behemoths that are Brikkuni (who are all set to launch their new album later this year).
Mario is a man whose reputation precedes him, and over the years he has amassed a certain love-hate notoriety on this island. Since he's pretty much taken down most of the country's inhabitants and has made all his thoughts extremely public, we've decided to bring you the top ten brutally honest (and kinda hilarious) posts from his Facebook page.
10. Meryl who?
Meryl Streep threw some serious shade Trump's way at the 2017 Golden Globes, and of course the internet went wild. While a lot of people praised her acceptance speech, not everyone took kindly to certain implications surrounding the whole situation, and of course Mario Vella isn't a man to shy away from making sure everyone knows exactly what his thoughts on a situation are.
9. Enough spin-offs already
We already had to sit through three meh Hobbits, and now we're expected to endure five Harry Potter spin-offs?! Tell 'em Mario!
8. All boobs are wonderful boobs
Ladies, don't be too conscious of your bodies. You're beautiful just the way you are. Hey, apparently MV can also be uplifting!
7. Dicks with bowties should be a thing
Mario's first status for 2017 kicked things off beautifully. One comment sarcastically said there's a Loving Malta story being written about the status, so we're quite happy that the prophecy has now been fulfilled.
6. Ain't nobody got time for the Azure Window!
Well, he does have a point about everyone talking about the Azure Window over the last couple of months (guilty as charged). We just wonder which of the proposed new names Mario would choose to start calling it after it's collapsed??
5. Nessun dorma
Have you ever realised how Joseph Calleja is pretty much everywhere? Well, Mario has, and he's making it a point to let everyone know that a week without Calleja is quite worrying.
4. An anti-Eurovision status. Is anyone surprised?
Even if pretty much everyone in Malta posts something about the Eurovision, especially when we fail to get a good result, Mario still manages to go one step further.
Plus, it's good to know that somewhere out there, Mr. Pezza Kwistjoni is sitting down smiling, even if for a second.
3. That time he brutally took down Jason Azzopardi
Actually, that's putting it mildly. There's brutal takedowns, then there's that.
2. The notorious Michelle Muscat episode
While Mario Vella's brutally honest statuses have been going for years, this status from last summer is what really shot him to viral notoriety with people who had somehow never heard of either him or Brikkuni. You've probably already heard about this, so we'll just let it simmer here...
1. That's one way of contributing to the argument on abortion...
As brutal as they get - not one person in Malta is safe!
BONUS: New Year, Same Old Marju
Don't worry - Mario's brutal statuses don't seem to be going anywhere in 2017!