Things We Can Call The Azure Window When It Stops Being A Window

Which is basically any day now

Gozo High Rise

The Azure Window, a national treasure and bona fide movie star, is pretty much fucked. It’s eroding at the speed of 50 tourists-flagrantly-ignoring-the-warning-signs per minute, and soon, the middle part will give way, leaving behind a sad, lonely stump in the middle of the sea. 

And we all know that sad lonely stumps are not the same as windows, so what are we going to call it?

1. The artist formerly known as the Azure Window

Simple and effectove. Hey, it worked for Prince, God rest his sparkly purple soul.

Formerly Known As

2. Fungus-free Rock

To help differentiate from the other lonely stone outcrop

Fugus Free Rock

3. Kugin

A nice, typically Maltese way of showing impersonal affection.


4. Hugo's Limestone

They'll take what they can get, and what they can get is pretty much anything they want.

Hugos Limestone

5. Gozo High-Rise

It’s only a matter of time till we run out of space on land and our new ridiculously tall buildings start popping up at sea too.

Gozo High Rise

6. Cleavage

Both a geological term and a beloved Maltese name! It's a perfect fit.


7. Harry

Why not stay ahead of the curve and name it the soon-to-be most popular baby name of 2017.


8. Eileen Montesin

Still standing in the face of seemingly impossible odds - need we say more?


9. Khal Drogo's Dick

Because God forbid we let anyone ever forget that a handful of scenes from Game of Thrones were filmed here.

Khal Drogos Dick

Do you have any other suggestions? Let us know in the comments on Facebook, or Tweet them at us!

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