An Intensive Guide To Having Sex On The Gozo Ferry
You'll never know when the mood strikes...
Everyone knows what 'weekend break with my partner' means - but sometimes you can't even wait till you arrive at your rented apartment to get started. When the mood strikes, here's a few tips for getting started early.
1. Try and time things to find yourself in the middle of the queue
Your car should be surrounded on all sides by other vehicles. You don't want to be at the very front.
2. Roll your seats all the way down and just chill
You're going to have to wait for the entire space to clear out, and since no one is supposed to remain downstairs while the ferry is moving you may want to hide.
3. Plan other options if you're not comfortable with the car
The toilets on the uppermost floor are large and spacious, but you will be surrounded by people at all time so... things might get a little weird.
4. Head up to the Till Late store if you've forgotten some essentials
Don't go in unprotected, make a quick stop to the conveniently placed sells-literally-everything shop and pick up some condoms or lube if you didn't bring any yourself.
5. Do what the Maltese do best
Enjoy your time in the stationary, hot vehicle; it's where most of us get laid anyway.
6. Make sure you haven't hit your handbrake
Particularly if you're parked on the upper levels that will become a ramp as soon as the ferry docks.
7. Time yourselves
Not for some creepy personal best, but remember the ferry takes 20-25 minutes to arrive and people start descending at least five minutes before.