If you’re going to a Halloween party this weekend, bear in mind turning up sans-costume will not make you look cool. Quite frankly it will kinda make you look like a dick.
Ditch the ‘sexy cat’ look you pull out every year and make the most out of Halloween 2016, it’s your time to shine! It’s basically New Year’s Eve with more eyeliner and less disappointment.
Having said that, Halloween need not be a nightmare. Avoid the endless makeup tutorials and online shopping postage panics, and save time and money with Lovin Malta’s crash course to cheap and easy Halloween looks. Save your precious time for re-watching Hocus Pocus and money for a Costa gingerbread latte or something…
1. The Jokeress
Avoid being lost amongst the swarms of Harley Quinn’s by going as the female version of The Joker himself- sexier and much more temperamental. You’re gonna need a green wig and some white face paint, everything else you can probably find in your makeup bag. If, for whatever reason, you don’t have a purple penguin suit in your wardrobe, throw on your sassiest black dress and your father’s least favourite tie and you’re good to go. Who’s laughing now?
We get it. There is no way you’re gonna let some 16th Century Pagan festival get in the way of your makeup being on fleek. Just do your face up as normal and add some pink blusher round your eyes and hatch in a few eyeliner stitches and mini love hearts. Finish off with some black lipstick (or more eyeliner) and avoid scaring off Zombie Boy who you’ve been messaging since the end of summer.
3. Amy Winehouse
If you’re gonna do Amy, do Amy with grace. All Saints Day is for remembering and respecting the dead, after all. Fake blood is a definite no, as is accessorizing with half empty whisky bottles. You’re going to need to practice backcombing your hair and that perfect fifties eyeliner flick. Accessorize with a colourful headscarf, which you can pick up from any souvenir shop for about €2, or convince nanna to let you “borrow” a free vintage one.
4. Sassy Clown
This year’s seen the rise of weird loser-types with nothing better to do dressing up as scary clowns and hanging out in dark car parks to scare the heck out of the general public. The trend started in the US and has made it’s way to the UK, so let’s keep scary clowns off our Maltese streets and keep ‘em sassy. No rainbow wig required. Please.
5. Scary Dolly
Let’s face it. Porcelain Dolls are effin spooky. Which makes them an excellent Halloween choice for girly-girls. Head down to your nearest charity shop and buy the frilliest grossest dress you can find, which you can slash to thigh length when you get home. You might also want to invest in some fake eyelashes and white eyeliner to make your eyes appear bigger. Plait your hair and accessorize with some white lace gloves and perhaps a bizilla tablecloth shawl for when it gets cold later.
6. Sugar Skull
This look inspired by the Mexican Day Of The Dead symbol of mortality probably requires the most effort, but it’s seriously worth it. You’ll need tons of cheap eyeliner, and a little coloured glitter never hurt anyone. Put your hair up in Spice Girl buns and pin in one of those flower lei things every language student who’s ever been sick onto their Havaianas would wear. You can get them from most souvenir shops for about the price of a Jägerbomb.
So there we have it. Lovin Malta’s extensive guide to Halloween on the cheap. Go get ‘em ghouls. (Had to.)