Hot Take: Avatar 2 Sucked Just As Much As The 1st One, Who Would’ve Thunk It
As a recent cinephile and proud Mubi-snob subscriber, I shouldn’t be as surprised as I was that Avatar 2: The Way of the Water really, really sucked.
The first sci-fi epic installation of Avatar was released when I was 11, and I remember watching it in some big worn-out movie complex in Bugibba and being blown away by other-worldly textures in the CGI world brought to life by 3D glasses.
I watched the sequel movie with a fellow cinephile-snob friend this week, armed with half a kilo of sweets, popcorn and beer at Embassy cinemas. We both agreed that the plot would be forgettable and mediocre at best, and we’d hopefully be engrossed in the visuals.
But alas, if it takes five people to write a derivative plot that oozes every Hollywood troupe through all its metaphorical blue orifices, on a film that cost more than the entire GDP of Gambia, they could put some effort into it.
It was a three-and-a-half-hour American wet dream of guns, explosions, colonial romance, a script that could be written by a 1990s beta AI bot, the triumph of the heterosexual nuclear family unit and even a nostalgic James Cameron gave an eye-rolling cliche nod to Titanic at a point of the film.
Indeed, the plot on Pandora is outrageously predictable.
It kicks off where the original film left off with no refreshers, so if you don’t remember small details from the first installation released 14 years ago well, tough luck.
In sum: Crazy-American-Navy-Villain wants Jake Sully, the American white protagonist who fucks a Na’vi native and becomes its leader in the first film, dead at all costs. So what does Sully the war hero do? Abandons his entire tribe, and goes to another one to put them in danger instead.
If you do go see it, I suggest arming yourself with some recreational tools, perhaps a nice fat doobie, and sit back and watch the incredible feat of CGI visuals.
The cacophony of textures in the scenic landscapes, the incredibly human-like movement of the blue humanoids, and all the ethereal flora and fauna that float out and around the cinema screens.
That is the only thread holding the film together.
Did you watch the latest Avatar movie?
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