Understanding Your Kink: Why Exploring Sex Should Be Talked About In Malta
Sharing the most intimate details of your sex life can still be taboo for some, making bringing up your kinks in the bedroom a nightmare for many.
Lovin Malta in collaboration with the Willingness Team is looking at the world of sex and what it can teach all of us. Up next is the world of kinks and how to navigate it.
If it weren’t for mainstream erotica and softcore pornography (remember “Fifty Shades of Grey”), you might not have known much about experimenting with boundaries in the bedroom.
But kinks are incredibly common. And the likelihood is that at least some of your friends have experimented with their kinky side.
You’re definitely not alone in wanting to explore something new and there’s nothing wrong with discussing it with your partner. Let it be a journey for both of you to enjoy, who knows you might discover something new in one another.
So, what is a kink?
While the word kink doesn’t have a medical or technical definition, it’s generally any sexual practice that falls out of convention. However, in general, kink and kinky sex are often used to describe a wide variety of BDSM practices.
Still, it covers anything from role-playing to fetishes, whether that’s feet, leather, voyeurism or group sex.
Understanding your kink is a normal part of life and should be an integral aspect of human sexuality.
BDSM, for example, finally appears to be moving into a realm of acceptability after centuries of pathologisation. Just take a look Folsom Festival, an annual BDSM and leather subculture street fair that sees close to 400,000 people attend.
It can be great for your health too
Interestingly, kinky sex can sometimes lead to better mental health. Studies show that practitioners of BDSM were more extroverted, open to new experiences, less neurotic, less sensitive to rejection, and more securely attached.
Additional results suggest that BDSM activities were associated with reductions in psychological stress and negative affect, and increases in sexual arousal.
Some couples even reported greater feelings of relationship closeness and intimacy after their sexual play.
Still, we refuse to talk about it, meaning that there are a lot of myths and misconceptions floating around.
Everyone is interested in some sort of kink and it’s important to remember that. A 1994 report found that 14% of American men and 11% of American women have engaged in some form of BDSM sexual behaviour. The estimates of the extent of BDSM fantasy are much higher.
In mainstream media, BDSM is often associated with abuse and violence. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. You’re not crazy for being kinky and countless studies back you up.
So how do you get started?
Remember, the cornerstone to any forays into adventurous sex is openness and consent. Communication is so important to healthy sexual relationships, but it’s even more so when you’re exploring kinky sex.
Everyone has also different limits and boundaries. While being open to new bedroom activities is great, being open about what you don’t want to explore is equally important.
Discuss these “hard limits” with your partner openly – and make sure to listen, understand and accept the boundaries of your partner.
Kink can look very different to different couples, and that’s completely fine. Exploring kink doesn’t have to begin with buying a leather bodysuit and a whip. It can be as simple as seeing what happens when you break from your regular bedroom routine and enter a new world of sex.
Just always remember that communication, trust, understanding and patience are vital to moving forward.
If you have any questions or want to reach out to share your story please send an email to [email protected]. Confidentiality is guaranteed.
You can keep track or reach out to The Willingness Team via their website and their social media channels on Facebook, Instagram and Tiktok.
What’s your kink?
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