13 Irritating Things That Maltese Who Move Abroad Always Say
How sweet, you still use cash here?
Living abroad can expand one's horizons, teach you to be more tolerant, more susceptible to new ideas, more curious. It can also turn you into a 'class-A', know-it-alls that other people can't stand to be around.
Here's a list of the most deplorable things you'll catch Maltese-aliens saying when they return home for a visit.
1. Maa, it's just really convenient aye, cos everything's so tiny?!
Just like the will I have to spend more time with you.
2. The roads are still a disaster ah, it's shocking!
Not as shocking as if you moved to Mumbai instead of Berlin.
3. Jaq all these air-conditioning units make the streets look so ugly!
I'm glad your three-month stay in London has wiped away the memory of Malta's physically unbearable summer heat. #ShutTheFuckUp
4. I'm sorry, but Maltese people are so stupid!
Le, le you're right. Where is your degree from by the way? Oh right, the University of Bum-Fuck Nowhere, UK.
5. I had to wait five hours at Mater Dei ta, it's like a third world country!
On behalf of Malta we apologise for the absolutely free medical attention and care you've received.
6. You don't have self-service check-outs at supermarkets yet?
No. We're actually still waiting for the most-annoying technology to ever be invented to reach our shores.
7. Our beaches really aren't anything to write home about ta...
If only you had written home instead of visiting...
8. Marelli, there's nothing to do here aye?!
It's either that, or people just don't want to hang out with you.
9. I really miss open space!
Do you also miss not being surrounded by the Mediterranean Sea and enjoying 300+ days of sunshine? Mhm, didn't think so.
10. I'm really impressed – things have really improved since I was last here!
Well that's good, because obviously the whole nation is working in tandem towards one solitary goal: to impress you.
11. People do not know how to dress here...
It's true. We find it really hard to replicate to a T every hipster outfit we've ever seen on Pinterest.
12. Everything is so backwards uff!
Maybe you should go backwards from whence you came. #itlaqlhemm
13. I wish people were less racist here...
Okay, we're with you on that one.