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6 Insanely Annoying Things All DJs In Malta Have Heard

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DJs in Malta are like prostitutes in the Red Light District in Amsterdam – there’s too many of them, and most of them are vying for the custom of British bachelor parties in one long street. 

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But beyond the similarities with sex workers, DJs in Malta have their own unique problems to deal with. A DJ’s life can be awesome, with many a perk to be had. But there’s always that one person who thinks they can tell DJs how to do their job.

Here are just a few of the things Maltese DJs have heard before.

1. “Aw this music is shit ta’

This is the go-to phrase for haters who can’t get into the vibe. Most people will drop this on a DJ in the hopes that it crushes the DJ’s spirits and that the DJ will attempt to rebuild his/her shattered ego by playing “Work tar-Rihanna”. 

Well, the joke’s on them, because all it really does is make the DJ question his life choices later that night when he is curled up in bed, alone.

2. “You don’t have wi-fi”?

One of the downsides of using a laptop to DJ – apart from vinyl DJs trying to get all elitist on your ass – is that people assume that you are connected to the internet. 

Because midway through a blistering set is exactly the right time to be scrolling through Youtube searching for “Drake”.

3. *Confused looks from the crowd after dropping a track*

You’ve been listening to this track all week – it’s a banger. You’ve taken your time, experimented, and found this really cool way of mixing the track in. You practice the transitions, and on the night, you pull of the mix perfectly. The producers themselves would have been proud.

Then you look at the crowd, and the looks on their faces reminds you why you hate everyone.

4. “Doqqli Despacito pls”

Even though the Puerto Rican hit only came out this summer, it feels like it has been with us since time immemorial. Anytime you actually go up to a DJ and ask for something that literally everyone has heard ad nauseam, you are just being a bad person and bringing shame upon your family.

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5. “I’m a DJ too”

Imagine walking into a restaurant, walking into the kitchen, running up to the stove and telling the guy there “yo, I’m a chef too, let me cook one dish. Just one, uwejja, just one”.

6. “Can you play me this song, it’s my friend’s birthday”

It is not your friend’s birthday, you are a liar, and you are ready to lie to my face just to get some Pitbull played. The best way of dealing with these people is to ask for their friend’s ID. They will run off to get it, only to never ever return.

BONUS: Guy who wants a song, but can’t remember what song he wants

He doesn’t know the name of the song, nor the name of the artist. But he is confident that by going “dun dundun dundun dun-dun” with his mouth while staring at you intensely, he can communicate the abstract idea of “My Humps tal-Black Eyed Peas” to you via corneal transmission.

Have you ever experienced any of these comments? Do you know any other ones? Let us know in the comments below!

READ NEXT: 7 Types Of Radio DJs in Malta

Johnathan is an award-winning Maltese journalist interested in social justice, politics, minority issues, music and food. Follow him at @supreofficialmt on Instagram, and send him news, food and music stories at [email protected]

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