Gozitans are dealing with an excessive influx of Maltese long-weekenders right now. So to all Maltese people on the sister-isle for the long weekend, be nice to Gozo everyone. It’ll probably be the only stretch of greenery left by the end of the year.

1. Skipping the ferry line that one time you use it

Just follow the line and think of how much more annoying you are to Gozitans than the queue is annoying to you.

2. Turning the Gozo Ferry into a party boat

Gozitans just want to get home, they’re not as excited as you are to be here. Respect the ferry. Party at Grotta.

3. And on that note: Ferry honking

So it seems that people love honking their car horn whilst still at sea with the ferry door shut. Spoiler alert: the ferry door can’t hear you and you’re not the only one trying to disembark.

4. Grumbling about the lack of space

Guys, it’s a tiny island. There’s not meant to be a lot of space.

5. Assuming your farmhouse is a nightclub

If the Gozitans next door are yelling at you, chances are you either threw a sunbed into their garden, or its 3 AM and Despacito is blaring at full volume.

6. Keeping all the cash in Malta

Bruh, if you’re coming to Gozo, the least you could do is buy your groceries here, you know move the Gozitan economy along.

Help a brother out. Or a sister island. Same difference.

7. Forgetting that road rules still apply here

You’ve crossed over to Gozo, not north of the Wall. If you can’t see the one-way street sign then bye Felicia.

8. Blocking the Mekren road

We get it, their food’s amazing. It probably won’t kill you to walk a few metres to get there either rather than double-parking so horribly you’re backing up cars all the way to Ramla.

9. Don’t ask if we have a pet goat. Ever.

Been there, done that. The 20th century would like its joke back.

Tag a friend who lives in Gozo

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Matthew Baldacchino

Self-titled resident SJW and expressionless in-house Head of Internal Marketing. Matt loves prepping vegan and vegetarian food, consumes way too much coffee, and has an unhealthy penchant for storyboarded Instagram Stories. When he's not trying to figure out social media policies, marketing strategies or cracking SEO conundrums, you can catch him as the host of Basically, Livestream Of Consciousness or Lovin Daily. Hit him up if you've got a story about the environment, arts and culture, health, politics and activism, or LGBTQI+ issues. He's also a doctor, but we don't talk about that.