With thousands of people making their way up to Gozo this weekend, here are the stages that we’ve all been through ever single time we plan on hitting up the sister island for a well-deserved break.
1. Slowly starting to panic that you’re going to miss the next ferry on your way to Ċirkewwa
2. Spotting the boat in the middle of the sea from Għadira and trying to guess whether it’s coming or going
3. Getting mixed up between the parking lane and the queue-for-the-ferry lane
4. Wondering whether you should get out of the car for a shitty kiosk snack, a slightly less shitty ferry snack, or save yourself for Maxokk
5. Counting how many cars are left before you board, estimating the boat’s capacity, and calculating whether you’ll make it on this round
6. Praying to God you’re not given the awkward spot in the middle of the ramp
7. Trying to slide out of your parked car without hitting anything or anyone
8. Wondering whether those seconds spent walking between the cars will lead to carbon monoxide poisoning
9. Trying to find the big red button that will open the magic Star Wars door out of the car park
10. Walking up steep steps with someone’s ass in your face
11. Realizing you’re going to have to listen to the stupid safety announcement again
If Michelle Muscat managed to cross the whole channel so effortlessly, we’ll be just fine if the boat sinks.