How To Survive St. Patrick's Day In Malta Even If You Hate It

Tip number one: you don't actually have to go out

St Pats Cover

St. Patrick's is here! Time to whip out that one green item of clothing you own and spend the day competing in a long-haul day drinking marathon. Not that us Maltese have any particular reason to be celebrating St. Paddy's; we just love a good round (or five) of beer.

So on the 17th of March, Malta joins the rest of the Western World for a good old day of drinking and sharing some craic. That's Irish for general fun and good times.

But with so many Maltese people gathered in one area drinking way too much, things can get a bit messy. So it's good to plan ahead and make sure you take the necessary steps to survive the day. There's the obvious list; eat before you go out, drink water, leave your keys at home, make sure your phone is on charge, leave your credit card at home and only carry your ID and some cash. You know, the basics.

But I know that there's a reason you've made it this far down the article; it's because you're probably not a big fan of St. Patrick's Day

And you're looking for some comfort in the fact that you're not the only person out there who feels this way. However, despite hating it, you're most definitely going out to get totally smashed today. So here are some tips to make the day slightly more bearable.

Also, don't worry. This isn't another Ryan's article.

1. If you decide that you're actually going to go, make sure your decision is well thought out

Also think about where and when you're going, and with whom. Contrary to popular belief you don't have to go and stand out in the street in St. Julian's from sunrise to sunset. Venues all over the island will have some kind of St. Patrick's event on.

But if you end up mad at the world because you're stuck in the crowd next to the LOVE Sign or Big Gs, you only have yourself to blame for that.

2. Take some time to charge up mentally before you go anywhere

If you arrive at your event already tired or stressed, you're definitely not going to enjoy it. You don't need to be there as soon as it starts, it's OK if you arrive late. Have a good meal before leaving, take your time getting ready. Maybe watch a film.

Get yourself to a point where you're excited to get out.

3. Don't arrive on your own

You're guaranteed to be on a different page as everyone else if you arrive on your own. It's always a good idea to arrive with at least one other person so that you can get your party started together.

And if you absolutely have to arrive on your own, make sure you make a solid plan on where and when to meet your friends. And be specific, because you still won't be able to find anyone in the crowd.

4. Take a break and have an exit strategy

If the noise and the crowd gets too much, it's good to go for a walk and take a bit of a break. Take a buddy with you and find a quiet(er) spot to just sit down and talk. Maybe spend some time not drinking too.

And if you're done with the day, just let your friends know you're leaving. Find out if anyone else wants to leave with you and just jump ship. Make sure your sober friends know where you're going so they don't freak out, and get yourself home safely.

5. Join the crowd with a few drinks in you

Pre-drinking somewhere quiet before arriving at the big event is always a good idea. You could also pre-drink at the venue itself by arriving a bit earlier than most people are expected to, so that by the time you're surrounded by a sea of other drunk people, you're too tipsy to notice.

Just make sure you don't overdo it too early; pace yourself.

If you keep all of these tips in mind, St. Patrick's Day should be easier to deal with. But remember; nothing can numb your hatred for socialising and dealing with people. So if you really don't want to go out, don't.

And always drink responsibly!

Tag a friend who hates St. Patrick's day but will be drunk today anyway

READ NEXT: From Green Curries To Green Cocktails: 7 Maltese Establishments Serving Up Food And Drink Specials For St Patrick's Day

Written By

Steffie Weenink

Steffie is a fan of equality and the arts. She's also partial to a meme or two. And she drinks a lot of tea.

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